The Darkness That Consumes Us All
by Empress of Yaoi
Summary: Their lives drag on as they ever have. Do they though? Then why does none of this feel quite right? And who is this 'Tsunade? Why would she be so worried? **Cover art by Reavhen**
1. Chapter 1

**I**

The girl cried out, "Let me _go_!" 

He frowned, making his way over to the dim alley. She was being restrained by two young men, a third fumbling with the zipper on his low-riding jeans. His frown deepened. Moving into the alley, he placed a well-directed fist into the fumbling man's face, feeling and hearing something break. He felt a mean grin creep across his face, "Leave," he growled, glaring at the other two. The one that had been trying to open his pants had sunken to his knees, now being pulled back to his feet by his buddies, his pants slowly sliding down as they dragged him away through the alley. He smirked. 

Turning back to the quietly sobbing girl, he pulled his face back into something resembling a sympathetic smile, "This isn't the kind of neighborhood a young lady should be wandering about in." 

He watched her swallow, mumbling an apology before admitting, "I _live_ here…" 

He frowned once more, this was troubling. He didn't like troubling, "Do you need me to walk you home?" 

Her eyes wide, she bit her lip, obviously anxious. He tried for a comforting smile, but it didn't come out right, his face distorting to an almost wicked smirk in the face of so much trouble. He sighed. She fumbled with the buttons on her shirt, her blush bright. He sighed once more, "Don't bother. I'm not interested." 

A quick glance up, tears filling up big, green eyes once more. He explained, gesturing towards her feminine features, "Too much boob, lack of proper plumbing downstairs," her blush brightened, he chuckled, "Relax, kid." 

Turning away, he started home. Annoyed when she seemed to follow him. He turned on his heels, scowl securely in place, "What do you _want_ from me?" 

She gestured toward the building he wryly called 'home', "I live there…" 

Frowning, he retorted, "No you don't. _I _live there." 

A soft smile appeared, it made her look cute. He didn't like cute. Not in these parts, at least, "I do too. I moved in a few days ago," her tone soft, almost a whisper. 

"_Damn,_" the word escaped him, looking straight into her eyes he demanded, "Move. Find another place to live." 

She replied that she couldn't, that all she had was in that apartment. He scowled at her, "_Idiot_. Move! It's not a place for a young lady to live. It's not safe. You just saw that for yourself." 

She cried again. He sighed, crying girls were the worst kind. He gently took her arm, pulling her along and off the street. People were staring, it was infuriating. Still holding her arm, he started up the stairs, "Which floor?" 

"The third, apartment 305… Could you please let me go?" 

He ignored her request, frowning once more. He pulled her up the stairs, not speaking a word as her request was repeated over and over again. Turning unto the third-floor landing, his eye caught sight of the only thing in the world that kept him breathing, kept him afloat. His voice warm, tone soft as he called out, "Love, I'm home." 

She was startled by his words, it was evident. The way she tugged at the fingers around her arm, her bright blush. He ignored her still. 

The other man, searching for the keys in his pocket, looked up. A warm smile on his face, a welcoming one, "Kakashi!" his gaze drifted to the girl, "Who's that?" 

He shrugged, he'd neglected to ask for a name. But the girl finally wiggled free of his hold, politely bowing her head at his lover, pink hair fluttering about just slightly, "I am your new neighbor, Sakura Haruno, nice to meet you." 

His lover frowned, "If I can give you one piece of advice miss Haruno, _move_." 

"That's what I told her. Says she can't." 

She frowned now, too. Probably the lack of proper etiquette getting to her, he didn't really care. There was no such thing as proper etiquette in these parts. You were lucky if you managed to get through your days unharmed – why would you want to give a stranger your name? But his lover seemed to care, a little at least, "Genma Shiranui. This is my partner, Kakashi Hatake," he nodded to the man slouching against the wall. 

She looked at him, he frightened her somewhat, the eye patch covering his left eye, the mask that he wore over more than half his face. He looked dangerous – she knew he _was_, the way he'd handled the thugs in the alley testament to that. So she swallowed nervously, bowing her head ever so slightly. She thanked him again, moving to the door of her own apartment. 

He didn't know why, but he found himself halting her steps, giving unwanted advice to the girl that promised unwanted trouble, "The laundry room is in the attic. Don't go down to the basement, whatever you do. The super lives there, he's a dangerous man, stay away from him." 

She nodded, biting her lip, "I know… I wanted to do my laundry this morning, but…" 

The two men watched her swallow, trembling ever so slightly. Genma spoke, "Stay away from him from now on. And change the lock. He has a key. The last girl that lived in that apartment left because of that." 

"The last _three_ girls." 

"We told them to change the lock, same as you. Take the warning to heart, girl," he turned to the door once more, keys in hand, "Whatever you do, don't let the super in when you're alone. Don't leave him alone in your apartment, either. If something needs fixing, just knock on our door, we're both pretty good with our hands," he chuckled lightly, the happiest sound to have rung through these halls in days probably, "Well, Kakashi's hands are mostly good for beating people up, but you know what I mean." 

The door opened, Genma walked inside. The man with the disarrayed silver hair looked at her once more, "Knock, don't ever use the doorbell," He moved inside too, leaving her alone in the hallway. She trembled, fumbling with her keys until she finally managed to open her door. Once inside, she locked the door behind her. Sinking down on the floor where she stood, Sakura cried.

**II**

They had been home for a few hours, happy to be together once again. They had been apart nearly three weeks, it had been almost unbearable. Genma's body was warm as he straddled him. Soft lips on his own, he groaned. His body heating up, his lover's body heavy on his lap, "Love," a mere breath, spilled into his lover's mouth. 

A slow smile crept across the brunette's features, his body moving up as quick fingers worked the button on his faded jeans. Kakashi lifted his hips, allowing the fabric to be slid down. His own fingers returning the favor, pulling down comfortable sweat pants, Genma had showered before and hadn't bothered to put anything else on. Moving back briefly, the brunette ridded himself of the restricting fabric. Then he straddled his lover once more. His lips found Kakashi's again, the kiss feverish. Panting, he found Kakashi's lips leaving his own, trailing hot, open mouthed kisses along his throat. He moaned, feeling a soft finger slip inside him. 

A hesitant knock sounded on the door, startling the lovers out of their embrace. Kakashi frowned, "It's the girl." 

Genma nodded, slipping his sweatpants back on. He moved to the door, opening it. The girl was standing there, crying. He sighed softly, "What's wrong?" 

She pressed her face against his body, ignoring the sweat that made his skin sticky, the hardness that was all but pressed against her belly. Genma threw his arms around her, there was not much else to do. Glancing around the hall, he noticed the super. He frowned at the man, pulling the girl inside and closing the door behind her, immediately turning the lock. He could hear Kakashi rustling on the worn couch, pulling up his pants, his mask. Thank god the girl didn't seem to notice. When the sounds died down, he shot his lover a look. The man had shifted slightly, resting his arm on the back of the couch as he regarded the scene before him wearily. This wasn't the first time they had found a crying girl on their doorstep. He gently lifted her chin with his finger, "What happened?" 

She swallowed, not sure if she could even trust these men, but they were all she had now. Her voice soft as she spoke, "The bell rang, so I opened the door and –" she couldn't continue, sobs shaking her petite body violently. 

Kakashi sighed, addressing his lover, "We messed up," his tone soft, he turned to the girl, "The only one who ever uses the bell is the super, girl. Don't open the door when you hear it." 

She nodded, neglecting to snap at them, saying they should have told her sooner. Genma held her close for a second, "I'm sorry, we should've told you. I guess it slipped my mind, I'm _so_ sorry." 

She shook her head, taking a small step back, "It's not your fault," a quaky breath, "And I managed to push him away, anyway," she gave the brunette a weak smile, "I was just hoping that maybe I could use your phone…" 

"Don't bother calling the police," Kakashi's tone was soft as before, but still it startled her. The words themselves, most likely, "His uncle is the chief of police, any report you file will simply disappear. What did you think the other girls did?" he turned away from her, not wanting the girl to see how frustrated he was, "Have you had dinner yet?" 

She said she hadn't and Genma moved into the kitchen to see if he could find enough to prepare a meal for three. Not that he told her, although the sorry state of their apartment had probably already told her all she needed to know. 

"You're staying here tonight," he informed her, his tone indicating that it was merely a statement; not a request, "There's a guest room with a bed. You'll be safe here," he turned to her once more, his gaze softly examining her features. She looked scared, of course. He patted the couch beside him. Hesitant, the girl moved over to sit down, "Why did you move her in the first place?" he didn't particularly _want_ to know, but maybe if they understood the girl's situation, they could help her get out of here. He didn't want to see another young woman get broken. Not again. 

"My business is my own." 

She was quickly catching on, he had to give her credit for that. He glanced at the clock, eight-thirty. Iruka probably wasn't back yet. Still, he rose, "I'm going to go see if we can borrow the bike chain from Iruka." 

Genma nodded, bringing the girl a glass of water. He warned her to be careful; the glass was chipped. Still it was the best one they owned. Kakashi left the apartment, locking the door behind him as he was accustomed to do. He could hear the girls voice, questioning. Genma would explain that you _always _lock your door here. Genma was more of a people-person. Kakashi only got along with two, Genma and Iruka. The younger man probably wasn't home, still he knocked on the door across from theirs, number 304.  
To his surprise, the door opened, revealing puffy eyes over a scar running across the bridge of his nose. His complexion pale under the tan. 

"She wasn't worth it." 

He smiled softly, "I know. Still hurts." 

'You're too soft'. He could never say the words out loud, "A girl moved into 305." 

He groaned, "Not _again_." 

"Yes," moving inside, he closed the door behind him, "We need to borrow your bike chain." 

Iruka nodded, removing it from his bike, "You're going to get in trouble again." 

He shrugged, "I'm not watching another one get broken. Did you eat yet?" 

"No, I still have some vegetables, but nothing else. We could share?" 

"We have rice, I think Genma found some eggs, not sure if they're still good. The girl's staying with us tonight. She hasn't eaten yet either." 

He watched his friend nod, "I figured. Let me get the food," moving away, one more quiet sob shook him. Kakashi ignored it. Once, he had believed that this man would toughen up in time, but that had been years ago. He no longer saw it happening. 

After securely locking the door, they moved across the hall together, unlocking the next door. They found the girl still sitting on the couch, slowly sipping her water from the chipped glass. She was mindful of the sharp edges and Kakashi almost smiled. But there wasn't enough to smile about, so he turned to Genma. The brunette had emptied the box of screws and hooks on the unsteady coffee table, trying to find something to rope the bike chain through. They would keep her safe together. They would not fail again. 

Iruka moved over, handing the bike chain to Genma. It was a solid, heavy duty thing. The most expensive thing he owned, probably. Still he handed it over without hesitation, knowing that it might very well be cut through by the super. Genma thanked him with a nod, adding it to the items on the old coffee table. Iruka chose the chair, not wanting to sit next to the girl and possibly upset her even more. Kakashi took his place next to her, awkwardly patting her knee a few times. Iruka almost smiled, Kakashi always had trouble with human interaction. He briefly wondered if he should have sat down on the couch after all. But no. Genma looked at him, nodding at the small plastic bag still in his hands. He extended it, watching the older man's eyes light up a little. But Genma didn't speak, moving back into the kitchen to place the vegetables on the counter. Returning, he continued his work at the coffee table. No-one spoke. 

She studied him through her lashes, the man that had just come in. He hadn't spoken, and the scar across his face made her wary of him. But his smile was soft when he turned his gaze on her, his voice softer still, "Iruka. Apartment 304. You can knock if you need me, just don't use the doorbell please." 

She nodded, the warning about the doorbell had come too late, but she couldn't blame any of them for that. They were trying to help her after all, "Sakura, 305." 

"I'd say welcome, but you really shouldn't be living here. Can you move?" 

She shook her head, taking another little sip of water. The man sighed.

Genma suddenly stood, holding a few pieces of hardware in his hands, "Come with me, you can get what you need from your apartment while I set this up." 

She only nodded again, setting the glass down in between a hammer and a pile of screws. Genma led her out of the apartment, locking the door behind them. She unlocked her own door and he went in first. Swiftly walking through, he explained that he checked if the super had returned. She'd already realized. He asked if the place looked disturbed at all, she shook her head. He then turned to attach the rings that would hold the bike chain to the doorframe and the door. She quickly gathered a few things and put them in her backpack before joining Genma at the door. He was almost finished, putting in the last screw. He clipped the chain on, she closed and locked the door. They walked back to apartment 303. 

Kakashi was cleaning up the mess on the worn coffee table, he and Iruka spoke in soft voices, "We'll find a way, Iruka." 

"I know. I just wish we had a timeframe…" 

"Same here," he looked up, nodding at Genma and the girl. She had a backpack with her, he pointed toward the guest bedroom. 

Walking in, she found the space to be tiny, the bed occupying most of the space. There was only a foot of floor left between the narrow bed and the other wall. A small bedside table stood under a cracked window. It had been repaired with duct tape and rags. There were faded curtains, once they had been moss green. Boxes were stored under the bed, she didn't look in them. The bed was bare, just a mattress and a pillow. She didn't really care. Dropping her backpack on it, she turned again, heading back into the living room. 

"…most likely, still –" Genma stopped mid-sentence, regarding her with tired eyes. He shrugged, "We'll manage. I'll get started on dinner." 

She watched him turn into the little kitchen, shoulders slightly slumped. Iruka looked up, watching Kakashi bring the box of hardware supplies back into their bedroom. She sat back down on the couch, "I'm sorry. I'm a burden, aren't I?" 

The man named Iruka smiled at her, a warm smile even though it was still small, "We'll manage." 

She almost giggled, "You guys seem to say that a lot." 

"We do," Kakashi came back into the living room, taking his place beside her once more, "We'll cope sounds so depressing…" he offered her a light smile, she could see it through the mask. 

Some of her confidence returned and it was a question she needed answered anyway, "Should I be afraid of you?" 

He chuckled, the first time in days probably, if not months, "No." 

Genma returned briefly, explaining, "Kakashi's only a danger to people that are a danger to the people that he cares about. Somehow, that includes you now, too," he turned away again, returning to the amazing smells that came from their little kitchen. 

She could feel her mouth water, how long had it been since she'd eaten anything? Still, "Why?" 

He shrugged, "You needed help. Still do. You need to learn how to survive here or you won't." 

He seemed done talking, crossing his arms before his chest as he stared out the window. There was nothing to see there; it faced a blind wall. But she wasn't done yet, "You could have left me there. You could have shoved me out when I knocked. I'm trouble for you, aren't I?" 

"You are. But that doesn't change anything," he looked back at her, "Stop asking about it. You may make me reconsider." 

Iruka smiled, another one of his soft, light smiles, "Kakashi, don't frighten the girl. You know you won't." 

"Maybe. But she has to learn not to trust random strangers on the street or she's not going to make it here." 

The brunette turned to her now, "You trusted the only random stranger on the street that would actually help you. You understand that much, don't you?" 

She nodded, unable to ask what else she had on her mind now. She _wanted_ to ask if this man would have helped her too. If Genma would have. But she was starting to realize that they probably wouldn't have. Even if they accepted her now, this place did not seem to call forth any chivalry. She sighed. 

**III**

Two months had passed and not much had changed. When there was food, they would all eat together in apartment 303. When there wasn't, they would all curl up in their own beds, trying to ignore the sharp pains in their stomachs. When the super rang the doorbell, she wouldn't open the door. If he rang a second time, Kakashi would appear out of thin air, glaring at the man until he left again. After, he would always knock on her door to ask if she was alright. She never was, but would tell him yes. She was sure he knew, but he always accepted her answer. He made her feel a little bit safer. Not really welcome, but safer nonetheless. Genma made her feel accepted. Iruka made her feel like she belonged. Even though he kept telling her she didn't belong here. He made her feel like she belonged with him, with Kakashi and with Genma. They lifted the perpetual loneliness that she had felt before coming here. Even if she couldn't remember much else from that time, she remembered being lonely. 

Sakura had tried to look for a job, but there were none. The best she could get was standing on the street corner, belonging to a guy, being guarded by another guy that was even scarier than Kakashi and sell her body to strangers. She had decided she wasn't going to do that. They would manage. They always did. 

Genma had taught her how to pick a pocket, something he could no longer do. Tremors shook his hands, gnawed at his confidence. But Sakura was improving and Kakashi always went along to protect her if she got caught. She still got caught a lot. But no-one blamed her. Not even Sakura blamed Sakura. She would improve. She would help all of them have dinner, not go to bed with empty stomachs. 

There was a knock on the door, Iruka. She went to open the door, he looked rather unsettled. 

"Sakura," he pushed inside, closing the door behind them. She locked it, "Sakura, please tell me you're not picking pockets." 

"I don't intent to lie to you," she spoke softly, her eyes lingering on the locked door. 

"Why?" 

"Because we need to eat." 

"But Sakura –" 

She looked up now, her eyes hard, "We'll manage? No, we won't. None of us has eaten in days, Iruka. I'm going, whether you like it or not." 

"I don't. But thank you…" 

She smiled at him, a light smile, a soft one. Like his was when he looked at her, usually. His eyes lingered on her face, drinking in the smile. He needed it, he felt like he was about to break, "Sakura… please be safe." 

"I will be. Don't worry." 

His smile was distorted, "I can't. I can't not worry. I care about you." 

"I know. I care about you too. That's why I'm going." 

He sighed, "I know…" 

She stepped closer to him, unsure but needing to say it, "I think I care about you the way Genma cares about Kakashi." 

He sighed again, "I know. I care about you the way Kakashi cares about Genma." 

"Why does that make you sigh?" 

A sad smile appeared in his eyes, it didn't make it to his lips, "Because that sort of caring brings trouble." 

"They seem alright." 

"They have each other." 

She frowned, "So do we, right?" 

Another sigh escaped him, "No, we don't. Not like that. I've learned not hope for that anymore." 

"Why?" she cocked her head, her lips pursed slightly. 

"Because it is always one-sided, Sakura." 

"No it's not." 

He closed his eyes then, leaning against the wall. He quickly stood upright again as the wall slowly gave way under his touch, he frowned, "Somehow, with you, I can't." 

"Why not?" 

"I'm not sure. Something feels… wrong about it." 

"What does?" 

He sighed, turning away from her, "You're younger, but that's not all of it. The rest I can't seem to wrap my head around." 

"Then don't try." 

"Sakura…" 

She made a decision then. Turning his body back to face her, she pressed up against him the way she'd seen Genma press up against Kakashi, her hands softly brushing past his rear, covered in worn jeans. He leaned into her touch, objections forgotten for now. Something pressed against her stomach – she paid it no mind for now. It was something she would deal with at a later time. 

There was a knock on the door, Kakashi. 

She sighed, relinquishing her hold to open the door. Kakashi walked in immediately, but unhurried. That meant the super wasn't around right now; she felt a little relieved. 

He regarded Iruka with a tired eye, a knowing look on his face, "I'm sorry." 

"It's alright," Iruka had to push the words out. Right now, it wasn't alright. 

Kakashi knew, "I can come back later." 

"No," her tone was strict, "We need to eat. Dinner first, everything else second. We'll manage." 

Iruka nodded, leaving the apartment. She locked the door behind him, "I need to change first." 

He nodded, watching her step into the bedroom. The soft sounds did nothing to him, but knowing what he had just unintentionally interrupted did. She returned quickly, wearing the same green tank top and faded blue jeans. He felt even worse now. 

They walked out on the street together, side by side. Careful not to attract any attention, they sauntered through the foggy streets. Once far enough away from their apartment complex, their eyes roamed the people walking around, searching for a target. It was Kakashi who spotted her; Fair skin, dark hair. An air of kindness about her. If Sakura was caught, this woman would not make a big scene, most likely. It would create an escape for the two of them. He nudged the girl beside him, discreetly nodding at the woman standing but a few feet away. She seemed to be looking for something or someone. All the better, the more distracted the target, the easier to get the wallet and get out. The woman's clothes proved a bit difficult though, Sakura frowned lightly. Her tone hushed as she whispered, "Where does she keep it?" 

Kakashi shrugged, eyeing the mark once more. The woman was dressed in white; a short dress that seemed to consist out of straps of fabric wrapped around her, her short pants were the same. One red sleeve covering her right arm, continuing into a shirt with mesh under the weird short dress. Her hands were both wrapped in white bandages. He pushed his hands deeper inside his faded jeans, "Dunno… Boobs maybe?" 

"I can't very well _grope_ the women!" She hissed, cheeks red. 

Kakashi nearly smiled, "I can. You the take second shot in case I fail. Now push me toward her." 

She complied, shoving him away fiercely, "Keep your hands to yourself, you dirty pervert!" 

He 'bumped' into the woman, grinning mischievously as her eyes seemed to widen – they were red, almost like his own, left eye, but different. Odd. Swiftly pushing his hand against her, he reached inside that weird dress, but found nothing but mesh-covered boobs. She shrieked in surprise, and Kakashi quickly walked away before she could yell for help. Not that there would be any, but it would attract attention. They needed to stay under the radar. Putting up his empty hands in an apologetic gesture, he turned away from her, knowing Sakura would try next. Behind him, he could hear the girl yell at him, calling him all sorts of things. Kakashi almost smiled, she had learned a lot of new words lately. Seemingly ignoring her, he continued to walk. The girl was now yelling at the woman, provoking her by calling her out on 'fondling her boyfriend'. It was almost enough to smile. Turning into an alley, he waited for the girl to join him. 

"Nothing. She had _nothing_," the girl was obviously fuming. 

"Oh, she had _something_ alright…" he teased, eyeing the girl's rather flat chest. 

She scowled at him, "Shut up!" then, calmer again, she slumped against the wall, "Did she seem familiar to you somehow?" 

Kakashi shuddered, he didn't want to think about that. Somehow, touching that woman had felt… _wrong, _"No, why?" his tone only sounded bored. 

"Just…" she hugged herself for a moment, "Never mind. We still need to eat. Let's find another." 

He only nodded, stepping out of the alley once more. 

**IV**

There had been dinner tonight, the unnerving encounter with the raven-haired woman all but gone from her mind as she followed Iruka across the hall. They'd silently decided to give the two men a little privacy as they'd been stealing touches all night. Sakura smiled softly, tonight she would too. Iruka looked a little surprised as she followed him inside his apartment, but then he smiled softly, locking the door behind them. 

"Sakura," he hesitated briefly, "This might not be the best of ideas…" 

"It's not the worst, either." 

"No…" he moved over to his couch, dropping down. 

She sat down on his lap, looking him in the eyes before leaning over, kissing his lips softly. He smiled, wrapping his arms around her. As she relinquished his lips, he smiled again, "You've never done this before, have you?" 

"No," she swallowed, "But you'll let me, right?" 

She watched as he bit his lip, looking a little nervous, "No, I won't 'let' you. I'm not the kind of guy who's going to sit back and let you do all the work." 

He smiled again, gathering her in his arms and carrying her over to his bedroom. Laying her down on the bed, he quickly moved to lay on top of her, resting most of his weight on his arms, "You see, I happen to know what I'm doing here…" one hand wandering down her body, he gently caressed her between her legs, over the old pair of jeans she was wearing. 

She swallowed, he certainly _did_ know what he was doing and she could feel her breath hitching, her body arching into his touch. Iruka smiled again, placing a soft kiss on her lips before pulling his hand back. 

"You've got the reigns. I'll only go as far as you'll let me." 

She frowned, the sudden loss of contact very unwelcome, "I'm not stopping you, am I?" 

His smile widened a little, "No, but you need to understand something, Sakura. I'm telling you that you're in control. But I also know that it would be very difficult for me to stop once we get to a certain point, and –" 

"Shut up. I know," her tone was clipped, "I don't want you to stop. And yes, I know it's gonna hurt. I'll deal with it. Just _do_ it already." 

He sighed, staring at her for a few long seconds, "Alright." 

Getting up, he shed his T-shirt and jeans, feeling her eyes on his body. He gave her a soft smile, reassuring her before pulling down his boxers and sitting down on the bed next to her. His hand found the little wet spot in her jeans without even needing to look, stroking her for a few moments, "This isn't going to work if I'm the only one that's naked. If you wanna look, fine. But so do I…" he cocked his head a little, biting back a moan as her body arched once more. 

"Yeah…" she moaned, "Then _let_ me…" 

He retracted his hand once again, smiling as it took her a few moments to gather herself. But when she did, the pink-haired girl sat up, quickly throwing her shirt to the side, followed by her bra. She swallowed as she felt his eyes on her bare breasts, biting her lip a little nervously before sitting up on her knees. Inching closer, she pushed herself against him. He moaned softly, bringing one hand around to stroke her ass. She smiled, pressing against him a little harder. 

"You like that?" His tone was soft. She could only moan, nodding as her fingers dug into his shoulder, her other hand almost flailing about in a failed attempt to get rid of some of the pent-up energy inside her body. 

Iruka chuckled lightly, the happiest sound that had rung through his apartment in forever, possibly. Shifting, he gently pulled her legs out from under her, laying her on her back once more. Hands ghosting over her naked chest as he simply enjoyed the feel of her body for a little while. Enjoyed her panted breaths, her slightly parted lips. The blush on her cheeks. Her anxiety was clear in her eyes, but she didn't say anything, didn't try to stop him as she panted under his touch. Iruka reminded himself to tread lightly, that she was still so new to this, that he shouldn't hurry through anything. But his body clearly had other ideas. 

As the girl shifted under him, he moaned softly, her eyes immediately searching his face for signs on what was going on. Unable to speak, he softly took her hand, guiding it to his throbbing erection, letting go the moment her eyes widened. Gentle fingers gingerly touched him, and he resisted the urge to push into her hand, to grab her hand and push it against him. But he couldn't suppress the moans coming from deep inside his throat. She smiled weakly, her voice coming out soft, trembling just a little, "Is that going to fit…?" 

He swallowed, nodding. Realizing she was going to need more than that, he gently pulled her hand away, taking a few seconds to gather himself, "Yeah… but Sakura… you don't _have_ to –" 

The frown was back as she interrupted him, "I _want_ –" 

He interrupted her again, one finger pressed softly against her lips, "There are other ways… that's all I'm saying," to prove his point, he stroked her again, smiling as she gasped, pushing up. But then she brushed his hand away in an almost angry gesture. 

"Don't baby me." 

"I'm not. But I don't want to hurt you. And you're basically asking me to do just that." 

She sighed dramatically, her fingers moving to undo the button on her jeans. He watched her, absentmindedly licking his lips. 

"Sakura, if you pull those down _now_ –" 

"I'm getting what I want," she replied curtly, pulling down jeans and thong alike. He swallowed thickly before helping her out, pulling the clothing off of her all the way. He couldn't resist flicking out his tongue at her clit. She gasped. 

He chuckled lightly, "You're _so_ wet…" 

She blushed, mumbling an apology. But he cut her off, tongue flicking over the little nub once more, making her gasp again, "It's not a bad thing, Sakura. It's…" he swallowed, "Perfect." 

As he moved back up, he kissed her lips softly, his fingers slowly tracing around her sex before slipping inside. She moaned, biting down on her lip in embarrassment. His smile was soft, understanding. She dared not look at him, his fingers moving around inside her. Without permission, her hips bucked, and she moaned again at the friction. 

"Relax, Beautiful." 

She smiled at the pet name, it was so unexpected that it caught her off guard. Sighing, she willed her body to relax, tensing up even more in the process. He just smiled at her, that soft smile that she'd come to love so much. 

In time, she really _did_ feel her body relax, little by little. And as he gently eased her legs apart a little further, she only smiled. He pulled them up slightly, still she felt comfortable. But as he repositioned himself between her legs, she shivered, hands gripping the sheets tightly. 

"It's okay," his voice soothed her, "It's alright, Sakura." 

She nodded, one hand traveling up his arm, ghosting over his muscular chest, "I know… Iruka?" 

He hummed, one hand returning to her wet center, caressing her softly. 

"Just try it, okay?" 

"Tell me if it hurts too much, okay? We can always try again," his tone and expression were serious, but she shook her head violently, her tone hoarse. 

"Just do it." 

He sighed softly and his hand disappeared for a little while. Next thing she knew, there was something pushing up against her, slowly sliding inside as his fingers had before. But this was much bigger, and it hurt. It hurt a _lot_. Somewhere in the back of her head, Sakura knew he hadn't even pushed in that far yet, that there was still a lot more to come. She fought bravely against the tears that threatened to spill over, but soon lost the fight as the pain only increased. His voice soothed her again, telling her it would be over soon, that it would get better, but she couldn't believe him. This was the most painful thing she'd ever had to endure. Suddenly frightened beyond the point where she could think, she pushed him back. He quickly gave way, and the pain lessened. But even though he was no longer insider her, it still hurt. She sobbed quietly, pulling her legs tightly together as she hid her face behind her hands. 

"I know, it's okay," he softly stroked her hair, his tone soothing, "I know Pretty, It's okay. I won't hurt you again, it's alright. Calm down Beautiful, it's alright." 

She shook her head, "No it's not…" turning away from him, she whispered, "It still hurts…" 

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, it's going to be okay, Sakura, I promise." 

After a little while, she turned back to him. He regarded her with soft eyes, an expression of concern on his face. 

"I'm okay," she wiped the tears off her cheeks, giving him a weak smile. 

He smiled back, warmly. His tone still soft, "No, not really… I'm sorry, Sakura…" 

She almost chuckled, "What happened to 'Beautiful'?" she didn't dare look him in the eyes, her gaze instead fixed on his chest. 

"Oh, I don't mind calling you beautiful, Beautiful," he gave her an unseen wink, "A rose by any other name…" 

She chuckled this time, softly, "Iruka…" she looked up at him, "Try again." 

He shook his head, "I'm not going to hurt you twice in one night, Beautiful…" 

She sighed, "Do it." 

"Now what kind of attitude is that?" he teased a little, trying to get her to reconsider, probably. 

"The kind that won't allow you to decline," her tone was almost harsh as she shifted back on her back, "Now will you just…" 

He sighed softly, "I wouldn't be able to stop again, Sakura. Please don't make me hurt you…" tears shone in his eyes, and he moved back a little. 

She took a deep breath, "Then don't stop. Please don't make me beg…" 

Biting his lip, he looked at her for what seemed like forever. Suddenly, he moved, straddling her stomach, leaning over her, "You're scared when I'm on top of you," he pointed out, noting her wide eyes, her soft gasp. 

"Ignore that." 

"I can't." 

"Don't care!" frustrated, she slapped him in the face. 

He moved with her hand, allowing her to vent her frustration, but said nothing. 

"Iruka!" she slapped him again, with the same result. 

"Damn you!" again, her hand connected to his cheek. This time, his own hand came up, grabbing her wrist in an almost painful hold. 

"Are you going to hold it against me that I don't want to hurt you?" 

"I damn well will!" tears in her eyes, she brought up her other hand, but he caught it before she could slap him again. 

"Beautiful… stop hitting me. I'm not going to do it, so you might as well give up…" 

"I'm never giving up…" sobbing, she squeezed the words out. Knowing in the back of her mind that this was more than a want. More than a need, even. 

He sighed again, releasing her wrists, "Fine, have it your way," he growled, roughly turning her onto her stomach, "You don't want to listen to me, so I might as well do whatever the hell I want, right?" 

He scared her a little, but still she nodded, pushing her face into his pillow, hands gripping it at the sides. He spread her legs, lifting her hips a little. When he let go, she stayed in position. Iruka sighed, "Sakura, stop this madness." 

"No…" 

He sighed again, "Fine. _Fine._ You'll get your wish, milady. Let's see if you're still so sure when this is over and done with." 

With that, he spread her legs a little further, his fingers almost roughly pushing back inside her, his thumb still gentle as he moved it over and around her clit. She panted, moaning under his touch. He sighed once more before pressing up to her again. This time there was no pause to him as he pushed in. Slowly, steadily, unwavering. Two fingers still brushing over and around her clit. She cried out, the pain unbearable. But Iruka kept true to his word and didn't stop, didn't pull back, didn't even listen as she begged him to please hold on for a moment. She felt his stomach press against her ass, something else tickling slightly a little lower. He stopped then, panting. She swallowed, trying to discretely wipe her tears on the pillow. 

"Happy now?" his tone was harsh, but he sounded regretful as well. 

She didn't reply, hoping he would take it as a 'yes' and get this over with. But Iruka didn't move. His hands holding on to her hips painfully tight. But compared to the pain she felt where he stretched her beyond what should be possible, it was nothing. And the pain of his body inside of hers was nothing compared to the pain in her heart. 

"Sakura…" his tone soft, he leaned over her a little. It caused him to shift inside her and she nearly cried out again, biting down on the pillow. 

"Sakura, Beautiful, I'm sorry… please talk to me…" tears strained his voice, and she took a shaky breath. 

"Ouch…" 

He chuckled, and she tensed as once again his slight movement hurt her. But the pain was already getting a little less and she unconsciously moved her hips a little, moaning quietly. 

"Are you okay, Pretty?" 

"Damnit..." she whispered, upset with herself, "Yes, _yes_, I'm _fine_. Now stop asking." 

"Alright… would you rather have me move, then?" a slight tease in his voice as he moved out of her just a little, gently pushing back in. 

She moaned loudly, panting, "Aaahhh – _Yes-I-think-I-do_!" she cried out, amazed by how weird and… _good_ this felt. It didn't even hurt so much anymore. 

He smiled, she knew he did, "Alright then, let's try that again," he moved out a little further, pushed back in a little harder, his fingers still dancing around and brushing over her clit, "That feel good?" 

"U-huh… fingers… ah…" she couldn't form a coherent sentence, but it seemed he understood, his fingers keeping up their pace as the rest of him remained still. 

"Like this?" he whispered, chuckling as the only response was a loud moan. He tried to keep his body as still as possible. Only two of his fingers moving, pushing her closer to the edge. He felt guilty about how he'd treated her earlier, now trying to make up for it as best he could. As she tensed up, he eased his attentions slightly, keeping the slower pace up as she climaxed. He threw his other arm around her to keep her up, slumping down could prove painful for her. But as he did so, Iruka could not help but shift slightly. The man was startled as her back arched into him, a low moan erupting from the girl. 

"Again," her tone was hoarse, commanding. 

Smiling softly, he pulled back before pushing back in. She moaned once more. 

"Again," she commanded. 

He was getting the idea now, slowly starting to work up a pace. Going faster and harder quickly – needing the release more than he wanted to keep from hurting her again. It seemed fine. She was still egging him on between panted moans. Before long he collapsed on top of her, shuddering. _Finally_. 

**V**

There was a knock on the door, Iruka. Genma groaned. Looking over at Kakashi he knew the younger man would not get up. Not even for Iruka. So he did. Grabbing a pair of sweat pants off the floor before leaving the bedroom. Opening the door, he was quickly pushed aside as Iruka entered. He shrugged, locking the door behind the man. 

"Genma…" he nervously fiddled with his fingers, "Last night, I…" 

He smiled a little, "We heard." 

"Ah… hard to miss, I suppose." 

"You hurt her," Kakashi appeared, frowning. 

"Yeah… I –" 

"Shut up," walking over, he threw a single punch at the younger man's gut. Iruka doubled over, landing on his knees. Not looking up, he apologized. 

"I don't want to hear it. What do you want?" he crossed his arms, still frowning. Genma almost smiled. In his anger, the silver-haired man had forgotten to put any clothes on. Iruka was blushing, his forehead almost touching the floor. 

"I… I realized that… I could get her pregnant…" he said quietly, his words almost lost on the fuming man. 

"You'd ruin her life," Genma said softly, "Even more than it already is." 

"I know. I don't –" 

"Then stay _away_ from her!" angry, he turned back into the bedroom. Closing the door gently for if he'd slam it shut like he wanted to, the door would surely come off its hinges. 

"He might be exaggerating a little," Genma chuckled lightly, not what the younger man wanted to hear, most likely. 

"Genma," he lifted himself off the floor, "She came on to _me_. And… I…" 

"Love her. We know. Still, you hurt her. Next time, Kakashi will kill you," he was dead-serious, they both knew it. 

Iruka nodded solemnly, his gaze directed at the floor. Genma sighed. 

"Look, we don't have many. We don't use them anyway, so as long as she doesn't get hurt again…" he trailed off, turning into the bedroom. 

"Thank you," It was a whisper, but Genma understood, nodding before he closed the door behind him. 

"He hurt her," Kakashi sat on the bed, still naked. He glared at Genma as the older man reached into the box that served as a nightstand. 

"I know." 

"_Hurt_ her," he emphasized, as if Genma hadn't understood him the first time. 

"I know. You're being more protective of her than any of the others though. And Iruka's a good guy. Usually you're defending him against me. You're not thinking clearly about this. She wanted him, we all know it. First times hurt. We know that too. Stop being an ass and help me find the damned condoms. At least he thought about _that_ much," out of breath, he let himself slide down to the floor. His entire body shaking from his little outburst. 

"I'm sorry…" Kakashi reached into the box, rummaging through its contents until he'd found all the condoms they possessed. Then he turned back to his lover. Genma had just about caught his breath again, the tremors fading away once more, "Are you okay?" 

Genma sighed, "Yes," he really wasn't, they both knew. But they would manage. 

Kakashi put on a pair of ripped black jeans before leaving the bedroom, "Here. This is all we've got." 

Iruka swallowed, accepting the handful of promised paradises. He quickly counted, "Fourteen… thank you," looking up, he found the older man looking at him questioningly. 

"Why? She wanted you. Why did you hurt her anyway?" his tone was soft, he sounded as if Iruka had hurt _Kakashi_ as well. 

He sighed, "She… ordered me to. And then… I couldn't stop anymore, even when she…" he looked away, shame and guilt on his face. 

Kakashi nodded, sighing. He turned away, walking over to the kitchen for a glass of water, "Where is she?" 

"My apartment." 

"If I ever hear her cry out like that again, I'm coming in, Iruka. And you'll be dead. You're my best friend, but no-one is hurting that girl ever again. Do I make myself clear?" he didn't look back, instead grabbing a glass and filling it with water. 

Iruka gulped, "I don't ever _want_ to hurt her again…" he shivered. 

"Good. Now leave. Genma isn't well." 

"Again?" concerned, he unconsciously took a step towards the bedroom door. 

"Leave, Iruka. He's _my_ responsibility. She's yours." 

A wry smile appeared on the brunette's face, "And still you're protecting her against me…" 

He turned now, fury in his one, visible eye, "I will protect each and every one of you at the cost of my life. _But now you're leaving_." 

Iruka stumbled backwards in fear of his friend's sudden outburst, returning to his own apartment and the girl sleeping in his bed. 

**VI**

"You were too strict again, Love…" 

"Oh, shush," crouching, he carefully held the glass to Genma's lips, "He can be a little pest sometimes." 

Genma obediently drank. Then turned his head away. Once the glass disappeared, he regarded his lover with a serious look, "It's back. The Darkness." 

He sighed, "Yes. Don't speak of it, please. Here, drink." 

"No, I've had plenty. Kakashi, help me up?" 

He set the glass down, lifting his lover back on his feet, "Do I need to help you to the couch?" 

A soft smile appeared on Genma's face, "No. Help me get on the bed. We'll fuck. You'll feel better. You always do." 

Kakashi only nodded, gently helping the weakened man to lay down. Then he grabbed the glass, turning away from him. 

"Hey!" 

"You're not well." 

Frustrated, Genma sighed, "Neither are you. We'll manage. Let me do this for you." 

Kakashi turned back to face him, "I love you." 

The brunette smiled at him, "I love you." 

Kakashi left for the kitchen. Genma knew he'd be back. It wouldn't take him long. He always needed to reconcile himself with doing this when Genma wasn't well. But he never turned down the offer. He knew it would help. They both did. Together, they kept each other strong. For Sakura. For Iruka. For each other. 

Kakashi appeared in the doorway. 

"Are you still dizzy?" 

Genma almost smiled. Almost, "No." 

He approached the bed, dropping the jeans to the floor on the way over. Genma removed the sweat pants, sitting up. He smiled softly as Kakashi sat down next to him. He straddled the younger man. Hot lips immediately attached themselves to his pulse as gentle fingers found his entrance. 

"No need, I'm still loose enough." 

Kakashi grunted something that meant he didn't believe him, his fingers checking anyway. Genma almost chuckled. But the sound would be too happy for the silver-haired man, so he held back, moaning in delight at the attentions bestowed upon him. He felt feverish and it had nothing to do with Kakashi. But Genma did not complain. His lover needed him right now. It didn't matter that he felt sick. He would manage. 

"You're right…" 

He smiled softly, "Disappointed?" 

Kakashi almost smiled back at him, the eye that was open held a little twinkle, "Maybe a little." 

Genma cocked his head for a second, then slowly slid back. Taking his lover's cock in his mouth for a few moments, he slicked it up. He then moved back to straddle the younger man. Kakashi didn't waste any time slipping inside. Once more Genma almost chuckled. Almost. Not yet. When Kakashi felt a little better. Then he could show his contentment. Not before. Never before. It would make Kakashi feel worse. It would make him withdraw again. He rocked his hips for a little while, drawing a few moans from the younger man before moving up, tightening his muscles to increase his lover's pleasure. Kakashi's hand came around his own, throbbing cock. It was a little wet. Genma hadn't noticed his lover wetting it. It didn't matter. This felt good. He couldn't suppress a delighted sigh. Kakashi smiled back at him, just a little. He would be alright again. 

For a while, they moved together. Perfect synchrony. Soft moans and panted breaths the only thing breaking the silence in their small bedroom, in their run-down apartment. For now, the rest of the world didn't matter. Not even Iruka and Sakura mattered. They had each other now, after all. Kakashi and Genma could ignore their existence for now. Genma knew Kakashi'd finally realized this too when the younger man's shoulders relaxed. He smiled softly before tensing up again. But this was the good kind of tension. The one that would make him smile again. A real smile. One that would reach his eye. 

The silver-haired man shuddered, dropping back on the bed. Genma smiled, leaning over him to place a loving kiss on Kakashi's lips. The man was mumbling, his release never being cried out, but coming out in soft mumbles. 

"I love you, I've always loved you," the same words over and over and over. Genma smiled, he loved hearing Kakashi say this. He always would.


	2. Chapter 2

**VII  
**

They were sitting on the couch together, her hand touching him, stroking him through the worn fabric of his jeans. 

"Please don't." 

"Don't you want to?" Her eyes were big, too perfect. 

He moaned softly, her hand still where it shouldn't be right now, "I don't have any more condoms." 

She moved, straddling him, her hand still in place, still stroking, "I don't care." 

He moaned again, quietly, "Sakura," He lifted her hand, "I don't want to get you knocked up, not here." 

She smiled softly "I don't want to get pregnant here either. But right now, I can't. So it's alright." 

He looked at her questioningly, his hand still firmly holding on to her wrist. She sighed softly, "I used to be a nurse. I've been keeping track, you _can't _get me pregnant right now," she straddled him. 

"You're sure?" His voice nearly cracked, willpower wavering. 

"I'm sure." 

He let go of her wrist then, his hands traveling up her back, under her shirt. Bunching up the once-black fabric in the process. She smiled, gasping as his fingers found the clasp of her bra, undoing it. He pulled off shirt and bra alike, cupping her breasts, massaging gently. She moaned, her hands on his shoulders as a way to steady herself. He loved the sight of her pink cheeks, the small but firm breasts supplely moving under his skilled fingers. She threw her head back, her body arching into his touch, her hips grinding against him. He gasped, his hold becoming but a little too firm. Realizing, he quickly relinquished her, afraid to bruise the pale skin. Her smile was sinful as she moved off of his lap, sliding her panties down along with the skintight jeans. He removed his own faded and torn jeans as well before she sat back on his lap. His fingers easily located her clit, it was already swollen and wet and he took care to be gentle. Sakura writhed above him, a sight to behold. But his own member was throbbing, begging to enter the tight space that would bring him to paradise for a short while. Still, he needed to be sure. 

"You're absolutely certain?" 

A small frown appeared, "Iruka, I told you I am, didn't I? Stop hesitating, it's safe." 

He swallowed, taking himself in hand. She slowly slid down on him. Their soft moans and panted breaths the only sound in his run-down apartment. She sunk down on him, rocking her hips as soon as he was fully inside. He moaned again, one hand coming around to help steady her. The other once again softly brushing over and around her slick nub. Her hold on his shoulders tightened and she all but swayed. He steadied her, their smiles a perfect copy of each other. A few more seconds, and she began to move. He watched her body move up and down in a rhythmic pace, the way she made him feel almost too good to be true. Her eyes were heavily lidded, lips slightly parted, cheeks flushed. Her pink hair sticking to her skin. Iruka felt his heart swell with the love he held for her. His ministrations remained the same, only stopping momentarily as his orgasm crashed through him: Paradise. 

Coming back to her, he found her fingers covering his own. Manipulating them slightly so that their pace was not interrupted too much. He smiled at her, turning their bodies so he lay on top of her on the old couch. Slipping out, he replaced his fingers with his tongue, keeping up the pace as her body convulsed. 

As she opened her eyes again, Sakura pushed him off, mumbling that it was too much. So he moved up her body, placing soft kisses along the way before placing an equally soft kiss on her lips. She pulled him close, their tongues slowly dancing together. 

There was a knock on the door. Sighing, he pulled out of their kiss, "Kakashi." 

She nodded, keeping low as he hurried into his jeans. He unlocked the door and Kakashi entered immediately, closing the door behind him. 

"We have an in." 

Iruka frowned lightly, this was unexpected. 

Kakashi's gaze drifted over to the couch where Sakura remained low, trying to hide as she put her clothes back on. His tone was curt, "Don't bother. I'm not interested," he turned his attention back to Iruka, "We can do this." 

"What's the in?" 

He nodded at Sakura, standing with her back to the door as she tried to pull up the tight pants as quickly as she could. They stuck to her sweaty legs. She let out a frustrated noise. 

"Her." 

Iruka's frown returned, deeper, "It's too dangerous." 

She'd given up on the jeans now, turning around in only her long T-shirt and pink panties. They had a little bow on them, though you couldn't see. The once-black T-shirt covered it. But Iruka knew, and it made him smile a little despite it all. Her gaze was questioning, "What's too dangerous?" 

Kakashi ignored her, his gaze still on Iruka's face, "I have full confidence in her." 

He blushed a little at the compliment that she would most likely not find hidden in the words. Still, "You can't ask that of her." 

"I still am." 

"Ask _what_ of me?" she frowned now too, walking over. 

Kakashi sighed softly, "Over dinner." 

"I don't have any food," Iruka looked away. 

"We'll manage," he turned to leave but was stopped by Sakura's voice. 

"Walk me to the store, Kakashi." 

He turned back to face her, "Thank you." 

She just nodded, "Pick me up in thirty minutes," her expression cold, devoid of happiness once more. 

Kakashi nodded, then left. Iruka went to lock the door behind him but Sakura's voice stopped him, too, "I need to go change." 

**VIII  
**

They walked to the supermarket together. She had changed clothes; wearing a felt coat with a fluffy wool scarf over a long skirt and a baggy sweater. He still wore his faded jeans and black wife beater with the mask attached to it, covered with a black leather jacket. His hands were buried deep inside the pockets of his jeans, "You'll need to buy something." 

"I know," her eyes scanned the people surrounding them, looking for a target, "There." 

He nodded, moving back as she shoved him almost violently. 

"I'm not your _property!_" 

He growled back, grabbing her arm, "You are _mine,_ woman! Don't you dare even _look_ at him!" 

Sakura pulled back, running away. She bumped into a businessman, clinging to his expensive overcoat, "Please help me!" 

He shook his head, pushing her off. She ran away again, her hands holding up the long brown skirt. Her grey felt coat disappeared into the crowd. He followed, but pretended to lose her, taking a shortcut to the alley where she stood waiting. 

"What'd you get?" 

She smiled up at him, her face red from running, "Enough to have dinner for days." 

He nodded, handing her the list that Genma wrote. 

She took it, memorizing the items, "I'm best off buying the rice. That way I can get a larger bag." 

He nodded again, cocking his head as she seemed hesitant, fumbling around with the wallet she'd picked. Taking out the cash, she stored it in her bra, checking to see if there was more hidden away in the folds of the wallet. There wasn't, so she threw the thing behind a dumpster, fiddling with a bill, "There's one more thing I have to buy…" 

"Alright." 

"But I'm…" she sighed, not looking at him, "It would mess me up… Could you…?" she extended the bill. 

"What do you need?" 

A shaky breath, still not looking up, "Condoms." 

He nodded. Taking the bill, he hid it under the fingerless glove on his left hand, "Alright." 

She stood for a few more moments, cheeks red as she stared at the dumpster, "Thanks…" 

**IX**

He unlocked the door of apartment 303, gently pushing her inside before locking it again behind himself. Iruka sat on the chair while Genma lay on the couch. He moved over, taking off his fingerless gloves before placing a hand on his lover's forehead. The fever seemed to have gone down. Good. 

"I'm fine, Kakashi." 

He frowned, "No," then he turned to the girl. She was emptying her pockets on the wobbly coffee table. There always seemed to be more pockets than he expected, "Did you manage to get the aspirin?" 

She smiled softly, "I got better." 

The girl hitched her skirt up. There were several linen bags dangling around her legs. She pried them loose, handing one to Kakashi. Opening it, he whistled through his teeth. Cold medicine, vitamin pills and painkillers lay on top. He couldn't see what else was there, but he already knew it would be good. Sakura knew her stuff, after all, "Thank you." 

An easy smile crept across her face, "Sure." 

As she emptied the rest of her pockets and the linen bags on the unsteady coffee table, no-one spoke. Iruka's eyes followed every move of her lean, almost fragile looking fingers. There was a slight frown on his brow. Blaming himself for how skinny she'd become, most likely. Emptying the small bag that held some potatoes and a small box of tampons, she smiled a little embarrassedly, but none of the men reacted. Putting the box back into one of her pockets, Sakura's voice was low, "We'll need to find a different store again for next time. They're starting to get suspicious of me." 

Genma coughed, but sat up, "What did you expect? You're robbing them blind." 

There was a warm smile in her eyes as she looked at him, not on her face, but her eyes said enough, "I have to provide for my family." 

Genma's smile was sad, "I'm sorry, if I hadn't gotten sick –" 

"It doesn't matter, we'll manage," she pulled free the last of the groceries; a small squash that had been in a hidden pocket on her stomach, "Who's cooking?" 

Kakashi placed a hand on his lover's shoulder, preventing him from getting up. After a long moment he agreed to do it himself; cooking was only fun if you had acceptable kitchenware or if your name happened to be Genma Shiranui. But Genma was sick and shouldn't be up and about right now so Kakashi gathered up what he needed from the table and left the rest to be divided amongst the four of them. 

**X**

"Here, take this," she handed him one of the vitamin pills. 

He shook his head, "Genma needs them." 

"So do you, you're not going to be able to help him if you get sick too," Sakura took a bite of the curry – apparently it didn't even taste bad. Amazing what you could do with a few fresh vegetables. 

"Alright," the silver-haired man swallowed the pill, washing it down with a sip of orange juice. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had orange juice. 

She chuckled at his delighted face and he smiled back. There hadn't been this many smiles in their apartment in years. Sakura was like a pink ray of sunshine and even this place couldn't drown it out completely. 

"You said we'd talk over dinner," her voice was suddenly cold once more. 

The smile fell off his face and a small sigh escaped him. The silver-haired man took a bite of his own curry to delay the inevitable. It really did taste good; he wished they had fresh vegetables more often. 

Most likely tasting the older man's reluctance, Iruka spoke quietly, "It's not legal. It's dangerous. There are no guarantees. But it might get us out of here. Are you sure you want to know?" 

She took a deep breath, her mind taking in the risks, probably, "Yes." 

Genma sighed softly, "There is a man. You may have heard his name whispered on the streets: Ibiki Morino. His lieutenant's name is Inoichi Yamanaka. They rule these parts. But Yamanaka suffers from severe headaches and Morino has people out searching everywhere for a cure. At least, according to our contact." 

"So you want me to fix the guy up? How's that illegal?" 

Kakashi shook his head, "Not fix him up. Poison him. Him and Morino alike. Go in, earn their trust, then off them. With the two figure heads gone, this place should improve." 

"And maybe we can even get out of here," Iruka added, though he wore a concerned expression. 

She swallowed, "You want me to kill them?" 

"No, I will," Kakashi stated calmly. He was already worse than a murderer, he would save her from having to watch the men she killed die, "But you're the one with medical experience. Genma can whip up one killer headache medicine and an additional boost for the celebratory toast. But you know how to present it, how to handle patients better than any of us," he neglected to say that she also looked the least threatening, they all knew it to be true anyway, "I will be by your side as your assistant slash bodyguard. I'll pour the drink and make sure they don't get up again after. Iruka'll make sure we can get out quickly if need be. You'll be as safe as you can possibly be, given what we'd be doing," it was the longest speech he'd given in years, possibly. 

Genma smiled softly at the girl, "What do you say, Sakura? Are you ready to get out of here?" 

XI

Tsunade stood, arms crossed, in front of the observation window. There was a deep frown on her face, bags under her eyes showing her lack of sleep as she watched her hastily assembled 'expert team' trying to get through to the four people laying motionless in their hospital beds. Deep worry lines were embedded on her face as she thought out loud, "Four shinobi, all were in perfect health just a few days ago. But all of the sudden they collapse. Brought here, but there seems to be little we can do. Genma is doing worst, if we don't find a way to break this genjutsu soon, there may be permanent brain damage. Kakashi's body seems to be shutting down – but we can still force his heart to keep pumping and his brain activity is the highest out of the bunch. Maybe that's the key? But Inoichi says they can't reach any of them… Sakura's good with genjutsu, even better than Kakashi. You'd think she was the way in, but Kurenai can't connect to her at all. And Iruka…?" Pausing for a moment, she regarded the academy sensei with a sad look, "He seems to be closed off the most. His brain activity is isolated to just a few area's and he doesn't respond to anything from this end. I doubt that, even _if _we manage to bring him back, he'll have any memories of what's happening now. Will any of them though? Will they be able to tell us who did this? The guards think they saw someone sneak out, but they're not certain. Could've been nothing but a shadow. Could've been a cat or a racoon. Could it have been a shinobi capable of doing this to them? I have to believe it. Have to. Search teams are combing out the woods – but they've been at it for days now. The bastard's long gone, I'm sure. Who the hell can best Genma? _Kakashi?_ I hate to say it, but the other two were most likely easy prey compared to them… Still… Why these four? They were all in different parts of the village when they collapsed – and they collapsed only moments apart. How? Why? Who did this?" 

Inside the room, the four lay still on sterile hospital beds. Machines beeping, IV's dripping. Every couple of hours Genma's body seized and people would rush in to fight yet another battle for the tokubetsu's survival. Two days ago, Kakashi's heart had started giving out at irregular intervals – yet another battle for survival was signaled whenever his heart monitor stopped beeping. For now, Iruka and Sakura seemed to be physically alright, but there was no telling when and how their conditions might change. 

Despite the desperate struggle of Ibiki, Inoichi and – since last night – Kurenai, they couldn't seem to break the hold of this genjutsu. The three were in there now, watching with tired, beaten eyes as Genma's body convulsed once more.

**XII**

"I am," her tone was even, decision made. 

"Good," Kakashi took another bite of his curry, regarding the girl with a tired look in his eye. 

She frowned, her tone slightly annoyed, "What?" 

His tone was soft, "I'm sorry." 

She understood. They had all seen the clouds of depression slowly taking over his mind once more. He wished they hadn't. Wished they didn't have to worry about him. Wished he could die. 

**XIII**

_Beep… Beep… … Beep… … … Beep…  
_

"Kakashi's heart! Quickly, get Lady Tsunade in here!" 

But she was already through the door – let the battle commence, she would not let Kakashi die.

**XIV**

They'd finished their meal, mostly in silence as Kakashi's mood was too heavy to bear. Afterwards, Iruka and the girl had left. They agreed to meet again tomorrow night and work out the plan then. It was impossible to do it now, with Kakashi's Darkness looming over them all. 

As Genma lay on the couch, his partner washed the dishes. He'd taken the medicine that Sakura had brought for him and felt a little better because of it. Kakashi's mood was still foul. Watching his lover come out of the kitchen, he sat up. Kakashi carried two glasses; orange juice. Sakura had insisted they share what was left between just the two of them. As Kakashi sat down next to him, Genma's smile was light but present. As the other man handed him the best glass they owned, Genma took the toothpick out of his mouth to take a sip, then placed it back as he put the glass down on the coffee table, "You feeling okay?" 

"I'll be alright, Genma. I just… wish I wasn't such a burden, I guess…" 

"You're not. I'm the one who got sick," bitterly staring at his glass, he chewed on the toothpick in his mouth. 

A small sigh, "You can't help it." 

He watched Kakashi take a sip, even the orange juice couldn't bring a smile to his face anymore. Genma's decision was made. Gently he took the chipped and cracked glass away from Kakashi, setting it beside his own on the wobbly coffee table. He got up, letting his sweatpants fall to the floor before taking off his shirt and straddling his lover. 

"Genma, you're sick. You shouldn't –" 

Placing a gentle finger against soft lips he smiled lightly, "Let me do this for you. I know it'll make you feel happier for a little while." 

"Still…" 

He cupped his lover's face with both hands, "Kakashi. I love you." 

"It's not worth you getting sicker…" even though he spoke the words, the resolve in his voice was already weakening. 

"I won't," his hands tugged at the black wife beater and Kakashi raised his arms willingly. Genma could feel his lover's body respond, making his smile look almost a little happy. 

"Love…" there was a plea in his voice, "Lay down, you shouldn't be doing all the work." 

"You like it when I do." 

Annoyed, he shook his head, "Not now. When you feel better." 

"I feel just fine, Kakashi." 

The silver-haired man swallowed thickly, "The medicine is working?" 

"It is," a cheeky smile appeared, "How do you want me, Kakashi?" 

A wicked grin, "I can choose?" 

He nodded, "Tonight you can." 

The words were barely spoken when Kakashi stood. Carrying his lover around the couch and draping him over the backrest, ass up in the air. 

"Like this." 

Genma smiled into the worn leather, Kakashi's voice had held but a little emotion once more, something that he was grateful for. The position was less than comfortable for him but he knew he would do anything to make his lover feel again. And, as Kakashi's tongue teased around his entrance, Genma knew he'd made the right decision. This was absolutely worth the slight discomfort of his current position. He gasped as Kakashi's tongue slipped in, moaned as he teased around just inside of Genma. Hands gripped the worn cushions tight, his lower legs lifting themselves up, toes curled. Just when Genma was sure he couldn't take it anymore, the wet intrusion disappeared. He heard a soft sound – Kakashi substituting the lack of lube with his spit, most likely – before he felt his lover press up to him, into him. A low moan escaped his throat, Kakashi grunted. Sliding in smoothly, the silver-haired man's patience wore out the moment he was fully sheathed. Genma couldn't care less. The almost violent pace his lover was soon up to didn't faze him in the slightest. He would usually prefer to go slower, but right now Kakashi needed this. And after, he would smile again. Hopefully. Genma felt himself get closer to the edge, but not close enough. He almost wanted to speak, but didn't. Kakashi's panted grunts and moans were music to his ears, his own moans and huffed breaths adding to the symphony that was their private moment. Soon enough life would come rushing back in – they _needed_ this break. And Kakashi had never left him wanting; Genma knew he would be taken care of once his silver-haired lover had satisfied his own, burning need. So he waited, trying to ignore how his position made his head feel fuzzy and painful, trying to ignore the pain that was slowly building up inside his ass and in his stomach where his entire weight was rested on a narrow piece of wood inside their couch. 

Behind him, Kakashi grunted once more before slumping down and over him. Genma winced, the added weight only worsening the pain in his abdomen. But he didn't say anything, instead waiting for his panting lover to stand up again. When he did so, Kakashi thanked him in a hoarse tone. There was emotion in his voice, _life_ in his voice, Genma smiled. Softly, Kakashi lifted his lover's body off the back of the couch, turning him. He frowned. 

"What's wrong, Love?" 

"You're bruised," he gestured towards Genma's stomach, the life slowly slipping from his voice once more as regret overtook the younger man. 

"Don't worry about it. I'm fine," smiling, he cupped his lover's face, placing a soft kiss on his lips, "Almost, at least," he winked, "You left me hanging, Love…" 

A wicked grin spread over the younger man's face, life returning to his voice once again, "I know. And I'm going to correct that, don't you worry." 

Genma soon found himself thrown on his back on the couch, his lover's lips kissing the underside of his erect cock. He moaned. One arm unconsciously covering the bruises on his stomach, the other draped over his eyes, he panted, "Don't tease anymore…" 

Kakashi chuckled. Wholeheartedly so. Genma's eyes widened. He couldn't remember the last time he'd heard this sound. His body shooting up, he stared at the silver-haired man. Kakashi smiled back, his face relaxed for once. The brunette swallowed hard, "Love…" 

"I love you, Genma. Nothing is going to take that away from me. Not even this Darkness. I love you. The only really good thing that's ever happened to me was meeting you. You help me in so many ways. We _won't_ just manage – We'll _live_ again!" there was a burning passion in his eye, on his face. _This_ was the man that Genma had fallen in love with. _Here_ he was. Even if it might not last long, Kakashi Hatake was _back_.

**XV**

Inoichi's eyes widened, "I can almost reach him! Kakashi, he's close!" 

Kurenai rushed to his side, placing her hand next to the blonde's on the copy nin's forehead, whispering, "Almost… almost, Kakashi… Come on, you're _almost_ there, you're almost with us again…" 

Tsunade bit her nail, watching the pair struggle desperately to get through to the elite jounin. Slumping down as the raven-haired woman slowly closed her eyes, she didn't want to hear the words that came next. 

"We lost him again…" 

**XVI**

Genma watched as the passion slipped from his lover's face once again, the younger man trying to hide it by bowing his head, placing his lips against Genma's throbbing flesh once more. He allowed himself to fall back as Kakashi's lips enclosed him, his tongue working wonders on his hot skin. 

It had been a fleeting moment, but it _had _been there; Kakashi. The real Kakashi. He'd shown through for just a second, and for just a second, Genma had felt like himself again as well. But it was gone now, all that remained was Kakashi's lips on him, his tongue on him. There was passion in that too, but it was different nonetheless. Amazing, but not as good. He'd rather just see the real Kakashi than feel this one pleasure him. But this was all he was going to get, even that little glimpse had been more than he should ever expect or even hope for. So Genma just allowed his body to slip out from under his control, spilling his essence into the younger man.

**XVII**

"He scares me sometimes," she sat down on the floor where Iruka's couch had once been. 

Sighing, he sat down beside her, silently mourning the loss of his couch for only a moment before replying to her, "Kakashi? He should scare you. He's dangerous." 

There was a fire in her eyes as she looked up at him, "Not to _me_. Or you, either. Kakashi is only a threat to the people that are a threat to the people he cares about, right? That's what Genma said and I believe him." 

He didn't have the heart to correct her. Couldn't find the courage to tell her that the silver-haired man had told him that he would kill Iruka should he ever hurt her again. Kakashi considered Iruka to be a threat to Sakura. The scarred man knew that his friend would not hesitate to carry out his threat should the situation call for it. It had already happened. The night his couch gave way during their short trip to paradise, Sakura had cried out in pain. He had been in pain as well, but hearing the older man break open his door had soon cured him of it. Iruka sighed deeply. He had escaped Kakashi's fury once – and only because Genma had come to his aid. Lately, Genma seemed to always be protecting him from Kakashi. It didn't feel right. It used to be Genma who wanted him to leave. Now it was Kakashi. His only friend. 

"Iruka? Is something wrong?" she seemed a little upset, it had been too long since he spoke, most likely. 

"I'm fine," he shook his head a little to clear away any lingering thoughts of the man he had thought to be his best friend, "More importantly, are you sure you want to go through with this? Like we told you last week, it really is going to be dangerous." 

"It means we can get out of here, right?" 

His shoulders rose a little, "Maybe." 

"Even maybe is a better chance than never," she sounded sure, surer than she felt. 

"They could kill you," the thought made him shiver, "I don't want to lose you too." 

"I'll have Kakashi by my side. He'll protect me." 

She sounded surer still, but Iruka could not suppress another shiver running down his spine. Could not tell her that that was what worried him the most.

**XVIII**

"Inoichi, you should rest," The woman frowned lightly, "You're of no use to anyone like this." 

He shook his head, "It's nothing. Just a minor headache. Besides, I feel like we're getting closer, I can't rest now." 

Hearing the blonde's words, Tsunade straightened in her chair. Were they really getting closer? Was there a way to save them after all? But Kurenai sighed defeatedly, "You're wrong, it's nothing but wishful thinking. We're no closer to getting them out than we were when they collapsed. If you really think we're starting to reach them, you must be more exhausted than I thought. Go home, Inoichi. Get some rest. Ibiki and I will watch them through the night. Then he'll go rest in the morning. You guys have been here even longer than I have, you need to get some sleep." 

He pulled a face, nodding dejectedly before hesitantly leaving the room, "Call me if anything changes. We have to be able to get through to them somehow…"

**XIX**

"Here," hands trembling slightly, he put the vial down on the unsteady coffee table, "This is the first batch. It doesn't matter if they make a guard drink it – it really is nothing but a headache medicine. But when it helps, you tell them that it's a medicine that you have to give him in doses. Every two days. I'll make sure to add a little more poison to each passing vial. If all goes well, Inoichi Yamanaka will die of natural causes about two weeks after the last dose." 

She only nodded, her face paler than it had ever been. She didn't ask what would happen if the medicine didn't work: Their entire plan hinged on the medicine working after all. If it didn't… with the reputation these men had, she doubted Kakashi and her would ever make it out of the compound alive. 

"What of Morino?" Iruka seemed eerily calm. Faking it, probably. 

"Morino refuses to do business with anyone he hasn't had a drink with," Kakashi spoke softly, "We'll ask him to deliver the cash payment to a restaurant nearby before going over to give Yamanaka his final dose. I'll spike whatever Morino's having." 

"What if he wants to switch cups?" she sounded scared, but her face showed only determination. 

Genma smiled a little despite it all, "Kakashi will just have to poison the three of you," noting her wide eyes, he almost chuckled – almost, "I can make an antidote. It'll only be effective if you take it within minutes after ingesting the poison though. So you'll have to find a way." 

"And then we go over to their house," Sakura swallowed hard, "And kill Yamanaka, right?" 

"No… He won't survive three doses. You're going to give him four before meeting Morino at the restaurant. It might take a few more days, but there is no way for him to survive," The look in his eyes was cold, dead, "Yamanaka and Morino will both die within the next two weeks." 

**XX**

Iruka sighed as she paced. Back and forth, back and forth. The lack of a couch was almost comforting as he knew she would run into it otherwise. 

"Sakura, come sit with me." 

"Not now," she sounded as if she was lost in thought. Far, far away from him and the living room they now shared, "I need to focus. I haven't done this in a long time." 

His sarcastic tone was almost hurtful, "You've poisoned people before?" 

Whipping around, she scowled at him, "Been a nurse. I've never killed anyone in my life!" she turned her back to him, balling her hands to fists at her sides, "I'm going to see if Genma needs any help. I don't want to be here right now." 

As she unlocked the door, Iruka fought the urge to get up. It wouldn't do him any good, anyway. But Kakashi would hear of their fight, no doubt. Would that mean Iruka would be dead even before Yamanaka and Morino? 

**XXI**

"Milady!" rushing through the white halls, Shizune waved a piece of paper around. "You were right!" coming to a halt before the blonde, it took the raven-haired woman a few seconds to catch her breath after which she handed the paper over, a worried look on her face. "Something is draining every last drop of their chakra." 

"Not something," Tsunade turned back to the observation window, her eyes hard as she studied the unmoving forms of the four shinobi, "some_one_. Someone is draining their chakra through the genjutsu, taking it for themselves." 

"Is that why he chose these four?" 

Tsunade shrugged, "Doubtful. Looking at this," she waved the paper, "it seems that they're not after any specific chakra natures, they're clearly not going for the people with the largest chakra supply nor do they seem inclined to incapacitate the strongest Konoha shinobi. If they were, taking Kakashi and Genma would make sense – even Sakura makes some sense to an extent, with her being my student. But why go after a schoolteacher?" she turned back to her assistant, "Why go after chuunin at all? I think this wasn't a targeted attack, Shizune. I'm pretty sure what we're dealing with here is a crime of opportunity. And that's much worse…" 

Shizune nodded, gazing through the observation window just as Kakashi's heart monitor rang the alarm. Nurses ran in to revive the copy nin once more, desperation on their faces as they got to work. The Hokage's assistant looked away, unable to bear the sight any longer, "If there is no target, there is no clear motive. If the motive isn't clear, finding the culprit becomes nigh impossible… The intelligence unit has no way of tracking the chakra flow at this time. By the time they've found a way…" she shook her head, "it will probably be too late for them."

**XXII**

"I'm sorry," she studied the worn wood beneath her feet. 

"Not your fault," Genma pulled up his sweatpants, trying to hide the pain that was shooting through his heart. He had seen it again, for just an instant. Kakashi had been here for less than a second. And then Sakura had come in. He sighed. His silver-haired partner had disappeared into the bedroom. He knew the younger man hadn't bothered to cover himself up, most likely. He realized the girl must feel awkward about that as well. But he couldn't help but feel annoyed by it. Resisting the urge to hit the wobbly coffee table, Genma turned into the kitchen, "What brings you here?" 

She hadn't moved from her spot by the door, had not even locked it yet. She swallowed, realizing her error and quickly locking the door, "Iruka." 

"What about him?" He didn't care. He didn't want to know. But it seemed she needed to talk about it. It seemed she would not leave until she had. It seemed Kakashi would not come out of the bedroom until she had left the apartment once more. So he would listen. For Kakashi. For the chance of seeing him again. 

"He doesn't want me to poison Yamanaka." 

He shrugged, "No-one does," 'you're too innocent'. He did not say it. 'You're a liability', he swallowed the words, "I was supposed to do it," he said out loud. 

"I'm sorry." 

"You'll manage." 

He didn't say 'we', this was her job and she'd better get it right. He wanted to see Kakashi again. The real Kakashi. The one that knew how to smile, the one that had a passion burning within him that no amount of Darkness could ever put out. She needed to do this. She needed to sell it. Somehow. 

"I will," she promised, swallowing against the tears that threatened to spill out, "Does it ever bother you that Kakashi has killed people?" 

He frowned, turning back to the young woman standing by the door, "We both have. You are the only one that hasn't." 

Surprised, she looked up at him, "Iruka?" 

"Of course." 

"Then why does he not want me to –" 

Genma turned his back, "I don't know. Because he thinks you don't have what it takes, most likely. Because you're too young, too insecure, too focused on healing. Any other would have given me painkillers but nothing more. You have been trying to cure me," he scoffed, "I'm dying, Sakura. And I would like to spend as much time as possible with Kakashi before I do. So unless you can honestly tell me that Iruka is a threat, I want you to leave." 

His words were cold. The tone even colder. She swallowed hard. Iruka was not a threat. But she did not want to be with him either. Genma however, scared her. Her gaze drifted over to the bedroom door, behind which she knew Kakashi would be listening. Kakashi always protected her, but he would not come to her rescue right now. Genma mattered more. She knew he was dying. He was getting weaker every day. She had hoped to find the reason for it, but as the days dragged by her search had proved in vain. Over time, she had somehow forgotten about it, giving him the medication she had always given him knowing that it at least made him feel a little better for a short while. There was still the vague thought that maybe if they got out of here in time, Genma would survive. But he seemed to feel otherwise. Pushing back the tears, she nodded. Turning, she unlocked the door, locking it again behind her. 

The hallway was cold and empty. To her left was the door to the apartment she'd rented when she first came to live here. She didn't remember why she didn't live there anymore. Why she now lived with Iruka, "Maybe it was the rent," she muttered to herself, surprised to hear her own voice sound through the empty hallway, "What is rent? What does it have to do with moving into Iruka's place?" She didn't know. Her mind was empty and so was her belly. Deciding that she didn't want to face Iruka after all, she turned left. Maybe the apartment was still empty. 

The door was not locked. That was bad. Carefully opening it, she found herself in a very unfamiliar place. It looked nothing like the apartment she had once lived in. The floors and walls were of the brightest white. The ceiling held bright lights that blinded her. The hallway was wide and long, much longer than it could be. She felt as if there were people around her, they were hurrying and it made her feel like hurrying too. But she had no place to hurry _to_, nothing to do once she got there. Sakura shook her head. She closed the door again, instinctively locking it. She would have to go to Iruka after all. 

**XXIII**

"I swear, Lady Fifth! I saw her open her eyes! I swear!" 

Tsunade sighed, the nurse had sounded the alarm, everyone had come running yet no-one had seen Sakura open her eyes. Just this one. Looking over at the pink-haired girl laying still between white hospital sheets, Tsunade felt tears sting in her eyes. She felt envious of the nurse who had sounded the alarm. Regardless of whether or not Sakura's eyes had really opened for a second, it had to feel nice to be so convinced they did, "Please continue to monitor them as you have done so far. If anything changes, let everyone know at once." 

It was all she could do right now.

**XXIV**

The door opened and closed again. The lock turning immediately. When no footsteps sounded in the small apartment, Iruka finally dared look up, "You're back," 'and Kakashi is not with you'. 

"I don't want to talk to you," 'but I have nowhere else to go'. 

"I know," 'nowhere else is safe so you had to come back', "What happened though?" 'you were only gone for a few minutes'. 

"I interrupted," 'I wish I hadn't seen as much as I did'. 

"I understand," 'I've seen too much of it too'. 

"Genma was upset." 

Iruka hesitated. He cocked his head as he studied the skinny girl standing by the door. She had been losing weight lately, but did she seem even thinner now than she did when she had left this apartment mere minutes ago? "Upset about what?" 

"He said that you had all killed before. That I was the only one that hadn't. That I took his job in the operation and that –" she didn't finish. He hadn't actually said it out loud after all. 

'That it would be your fault if this operation failed', "I see." 

"Have you?" 

"Killed?" 

"Yes," she shivered, "Have you killed people before?" 

He looked away, "I don't remember. Stop asking." 

"This again?" walking over, she sat down beside him, her hand feeling the temperature of his forehead, "Your memory is shaky at best. But you don't feel hot at all," She frowned, "Are you going to end up like Genma?" 

"No," he didn't know why, but he knew it to be true, "Genma is different from me." 

"Alright," she swallowed, "Do we have any more condoms left?" 

He bit his lip as he looked down, "Three. You don't have to." 

"You seem to need it." 

He growled, "I'm not Kakashi." 

"No. You're Iruka. If you were Kakashi, Genma would do this for you. But you're Iruka, so I'll have to suffice. I don't really want to, to be honest. But it always seems to help, so…" she shrugged, "I'll do it." 

He shook his head a little, looking away to hide the tears. His voice was low, "I don't like what I've become." 

She pulled a face, she didn't like it either, most likely, "We'll manage. Things will change once Yamanaka and Morino are dead." 

"Will they?" there was but a glimmer of hope in his voice, but that soon dissipated, "Once things are different, you will leave, won't you?" 

She nodded, "I will leave." 

He ground his teeth, his hand clamping down on the three pieces of paradise in his jeans-pocket. Might as well use them, then. There would not be much more time, much more opportunities, probably. 

"You will too," her voice came from far away, "I know you will." 

"I can't leave this place. This is where my soul lives." 

"Maybe…" she hesitated but then decided against it. Talking about this made her feel too strange, "Are we going to use them or not?" 

He shivered, his fingers fondling one of the pieces of paradise inside his pocket, "Please." 

She nodded. Getting up, she extended her hand towards him, "We'll do it in the bedroom. Just once today. Then we'll have two more." 

Taking her hand, he nodded too. Without speaking he followed her to the bedroom. Three more pieces of paradise. Three more times. After that, she would leave. He would be alone again. Alone in this apartment that was falling apart further and further every day. This was where his soul lived. There was nothing he could ever do to change that. But, he had three more pieces of paradise.


	3. Chapter 3

**XXV  
**

Genma's body no longer convulsed. The tokubetsu just lay there, ever shaking. Kakashi's heart could no longer sustain the copy nin, a machine had taken over the job for it. Iruka's condition had worsened too, the young man would get increasingly more nosebleeds as less and less brain activity showed up on the continuous scans. Ino tried her best to keep in her tears as she held Sakura's hand, "I'm sorry I couldn't be here sooner. I came rushing back as soon as I heard. Would you please wake up again, Sakura? You can call me a pig all you want, you can yell at me – I'll even let you have Sasuke… if he ever comes back, anyway. Just… please Sakura, wake up…" 

Behind the glass of the observation window, Tsunade closed her eyes. Her tears had dried up days ago, the worry lines now engraved deep in her face. Sakura was losing weight at a rapid pace. The number of feeding tubes had been doubled and she was getting extra shots of nutrients every couple of hours, but it seemed her body had ceased to absorb anything. Sakura was dying. At this rate, she would die before even Genma did. Before Kakashi. Before Iruka. Before… her gaze drifted over to the chair on the far left. At the foot of Genma's bed sat Inoichi Yamanaka. The man looked beyond exhausted and had been complaining of increasingly bad headaches for the past few days. Still he refused to leave his friends' bedside, refused to take a break from attempting to break through the genjutsu. Even now he sat panting, looking pale as his hands formed the seal that would normally allow him access to another's mind. It would prove in vain again, as it had hundreds of times over two last weeks. Still, Tsunade could not find it in her heart to stop him. Even if that meant that she would have to fight the battle for his survival as well. 

**XXVI  
**

"This is it," Kakashi crossed his arms before his chest, "Are you ready?" 

She had no other choice, "Of course." 

Watching them round the last corner without him, Iruka felt his hand close tight around the knife he was hiding under his jacket. If anything happened, he would protect her. He would protect her before Kakashi did. He would prove to her that she had not made a mistake when she decided she wanted him. He would – 

Looking around bewilderedly, the man dropped the knife he'd been holding onto. The knife sang as it fell to the pavement. There was old blood hidden between the creases in the leather wrapping. It looked dangerous. It looked well-used. Crouching against the wall, the man held onto his head in desperation, wide eyes staring at the lethal weapon that had been in his hand just moments ago, "What am I doing here? Why did I have that? Where am I, even? Why am I all alone here? I don't belong here, do I? Where do I belong?" 

Slowly pushing himself up, he leaned against the wall. His eyes following the pink-haired girl and the silver-haired man walking away from him. He whispered, "Who are you? You're important to me, aren't you? Do you know who I am? What I'm doing here? Are you the reason I had that thing with me? Am I supposed to attack you with it? Kill you? Is that the relation we have?" 

He shook his head a little, his fingers mechanically tracing the scar running across his face, "No… I don't think that's it. I don't know what's going on, but that's not it," swallowing hard, his eyes settled on the girl once more, "You just left me behind here. I'm not important enough to carry with you. That's right. A shinobi that cannot even remember his own name is of no use to you now…" 

Turning away, he staggered through the dark and filthy alley, "I should leave. I have no more business here," turning a corner that would lead him to somewhere else, the brunette muttered, "What's a shinobi?" 

**XXVII**

There was something amiss in the woods surrounding the village. He was sure; he could feel it in his very bones. Because he grew up here, maybe. Or possibly it was the kind of shinobi he was. Perhaps the need for vengeance had sharpened his senses. It mattered little in the end. His business here was of a different nature. No longer would he concern himself with breaches in the security of Konohagakure. Or rather, he had become one himself. Turning away from the unsettling feeling to his left, he headed right, towards the village itself.

**XXVIII**

He panted, unable to stop shaking. Holding onto the back of the well-used couch, Genma slowly moved forward. One step at a time, he forced his body to carry him to the little kitchen. There was a chair in there that he could use to rest up. All he had to do was get to it. And then, after he'd caught his breath… the brunette grimaced, "I will kill him for this." 

It was all Yamanaka's fault. The man had spies everywhere. They seemed to even know what you were thinking at times. He had felt them crawl through his mind on many occasions these last few months. He had never told Kakashi about it, not wanting to worry the younger man. Instead, Genma had distanced himself from the group as much as he could. He had even started to sleep in the guest room, claiming his constant tremors were causing Kakashi trouble. The younger man had not objected. He thought it was due to his Darkness, most likely. 

Icy fingers crawled over his brain, he could feel them pluck at bits of knowledge, at private memories. Shivering, he suddenly recalled the first time he and Kakashi had had sex, "No!" Genma shook his head violently, "You're not getting your filthy hands on that one, Yamanaka! These are _my_ memories, get out of there!" hitting his head hard enough to see stars, he felt the imposing presence slowly retreat once more, "I will kill you for this, you sick bastard. I will_ kill_ you."

**XXIX**

He opened his eyes, feeling an inexplicable tightness well up inside his pants. He settled his gaze upon the pink-haired female before him. That might have been the reason, though Inoichi could not remember ever liking them that young. Or that skinny. Shrugging, he cast aside the thoughts. It wasn't like him to fantasize about sex on the job anyway. Did it have something to do with the surveillance information? No matter. He would sort it out later. Right now the boss needed him to stand strong. Looking over to his right, he felt immensely better as he gazed up at the strong form of Ibiki Morino, standing on the elevation. The boss knew what was going on better than anyone. All he had to do was his job, the boss would take care of the rest. 

"How would a mere nurse know how to cure him when the best doctors can only stand there watching him?" Moreno's tone was harsh, covering up his concern, probably. 

She swallowed, "I studied under a master healer for years," this part was true, even though it worried her that she did not remember a single thing about those days, "After that I took an assignment that allowed me to get intimately familiar with the functioning of a human brain, giving me the tools needed to cure any headache," this part was a lie. A cover provided by Genma, ever the sneaky liar, "I studied all the available information and I believe that I have come up with the best concoction to help lieutenant Yamanaka." 

That hadn't been part of the plan. Kakashi pondered the use of the word 'concoction' as well as the word 'help'. Though it was indeed a concoction that they were intending to feed the man. And it would surely help him – if by helping you solely meant that the headaches would no longer torture him. Soon enough, Yamanaka would feel nothing at all. Behind his mask, an evil smirk fought its way unto the man's lips. 

"Very well," Morino signaled for one of the guards to come closer. The young man looked to be no older than Sakura did. His black eyes seemed to pierce right through her heart and she felt intensely lonely for a few moments. But as he kneeled before Morino, the young man seemed to have reigned in his own feelings once more. 

Looking at the young man's back, Kakashi felt something tug at his heart. There was something familiar about him. But the white-and-red logo on the back of his shirt seemed unknown and he looked to be too young to have been around back when Kakashi still felt alive anyway. 

"Sir," he nodded in affirmation, rising from his kneeling position and heading to the wall. 

Confused, the silver-haired man followed the youngster's movements. His melancholy thoughts had led him to miss whatever order Morino had given the boy, though by looking at Sakura, he knew the order must have been cruel at best. Well, it was what Morino was known for, the girl had known this going in. What use would sympathizing with your enemy be anyway? 

Stopping to stand just in front of the thick wall, the raven-haired boy tilted his head back. There was but a slight pause to him, his eyes closed tight as if he was fighting the urge to disobey his order. Sakura covered her mouth with her hands, but could not look away. After just a moment, he slammed his head into the wall. She could hear something crack, saw the blood running down his face, down the wall. She felt sick to her stomach, turning away when he moved his head back for another strike. 

"Stop!" she could not help but cry out, "That's enough, you'll kill yourself!" 

He looked back at her, a blank expression in his eyes, "If I cannot do this, I could never hope to avenge them." 

"Who cares?" frowning, Morino gestured to the other guards, "My lieutenant would consider pain like that to be a relief! The boy will need to do more than this!" 

At his signal, the guards that had come up to flank the boy took his head, slamming it into the wall with explosive force. The girl's scream was lost on Inoichi as his head exploded along with that of the boy that could only have been Sasuke. Sasuke? Sasuke Uchiha? He felt coherent thoughts slide out from under him as the full weight of his headache struck. At last wondering whether or not he'd overdone the jutsu, unsure what a 'jutsu' even was. 

**XXX**

"Daaaaaad…!" 

The cry resonated through the echoing hallways as he hurried across the tiled floor towards the room where he knew his friend – 

Halting on the doorstep, Ibiki felt his knees buckle, though he managed to remain upright. There, in between the beds that held Sakura and Iruka lay Inoichi, face down. Instinctively he knew the man had fallen under the same genjutsu as the others. Turning to the Hokage, Ibiki's tone was curt, "Lady Hokage. I suggest that we immediately remove Inoichi from this room. He must be isolated within a barrier capable of withstanding strong genjutsu. There might be a way of pulling him out if we do not let him get sucked in any further." 

"Ibiki?" her voice faltered if only for an instant, "What do you know of this?" 

The interrogator's face was grim as he looked at his friend on the floor, "I have dreamt it."

**XXXI**

"What the hell just happened…? I was getting through to Sakura, I remember reaching out to Ibiki – Ibiki? That makes no sense. Ibiki was sent home to rest. But he was there… was all of this a dream? Was _I_ the one that fell asleep?" 

Sighing, he tried to open his eyes, but the light was far too bright and pain caused him to immediately shut his eyes once more. 

"The headache is real. But then… why can I think again? Why can I even speak out loud?" 

"You're not. You were trapped inside the genjutsu, this is all we can do to keep you from falling completely under it." 

"Kurenai?" he attempted to open his eyes again, but a gentle hand stopped him. 

"Don't trust your senses, Inoichi. And whatever you do, don't give in to the pain. You really did manage to reach out to Ibiki in his sleep, he seems to think it's a side affect from working together so closely so often. But it's not enough to help you out of here again. We've been trying but it seems the genjutsu is constructed in such a way that we first need to pull out the others, so you'll need to hang tight. We need to pull in the same order the jutsu did in order for everyone to make it out safely." 

He nodded, "I understand. So I'll be last. At least me getting sucked in here helped you guys understand the genjutsu better." 

"Yes," she sighed, "I wish I could make it easier for you, but according to Ibiki, your role was decided by the others – and they're your mortal enemies in here. They're out to kill you Inoichi, you must be careful." 

"I will… Is Ino alright?" 

The woman chuckled softly, "You'll have some bruises when you get back up. But I'm sure she'll be fine once she's done taking her frustrations out on you." 

"Ah… I see. What happened to the headache? That's part of the genjutsu too, isn't it? Sakura is supposed to cure me of it?" 

"Apparently it's poison," the pursing of her lips was audible, "Don't drink anything that's supposed to be medicine. In any case, I've isolated you inside my own genjutsu. It's taking all I have to keep you here, so I'd appreciate it if you would stop trying to open your eyes." 

A little guilty, he immediately relaxed his eyelids, "So you're keeping me under your genjutsu inside this other guy's genjutsu by means of keeping my eyes shut? That's something I never heard of before…" 

"I'm just trying to keep you isolated. It's easier if you don't start thinking up your surroundings, that's all," her voice sounded strained but she still pushed the words out, "Apparently whatever you believe to be true in here actually happens," Kurenai shivered, "I _hate _the self-fulfilling prophecy genjutsu style. It makes people want to stay in it, because suddenly all their deepest thoughts become reality and it's just too frightening to let that go again…"

**XXXII**

"Alright, I've done as you requested," the blonde sank down into the welcome pillows, "Now tell me about your dream." 

"First I must ask you Lady Fifth, what was Inoichi doing right before he collapsed?" 

"Dad said he thought he saw something in Sakura's chakra," the girl sniffed, "He focused on her to see if he could reach her, but then…" 

"Ino…" Ibiki sighed, "I think he did reach her. And he accidentally dragged me along. I was there…" his voice seemed to come from far away, "There was a room, almost like a throne room. That throne was mine, but this wasn't about me. My lieutenant, Yamanaka… he'd been plagued by headaches and I'd sent out people to find the best medics to help him," Ibiki swallowed. Was 'Yamanaka' only his lieutenant? With the girl here, he couldn't speculate, but… "This girl showed up. With her bodyguard. It was Sakura and Kakashi. They came to heal him, but I don't think we were on the same side…" He shivered as he vaguely recalled the order he'd given, "There was a young boy, a guard of sorts. He… looked familiar – in any case, he was hurt in order to prove the medicine worked. I… I gave the order for that. Inoichi… I saw the moment he got sucked in. It was the second that Sakura screamed. Suddenly... suddenly everything became _real. _And Inoichi… he pushed me _out. _I woke up, ran straight here," Ibiki took a deep breath, "I think Inoichi got pulled in because they've been aware of him in there. They had to build a story around the presence that they felt. So we became the bad guys. I _know_ we were the bad guys. I also know that they mean to kill Inoichi – though I'm not sure how I know this. But if they succeed… he will die for real." 

"So you told us to isolate him at once," The Hokage bit her thumbnail, "But since we haven't been able to pull any of them out, how are we going to save him before they can get to him?" 

"They've been aware of our attempts to communicate, they just got misinterpreted. Inoichi is different. He's been right here with us, trying to communicate with _them._ I think Kurenai and me should be able to reach him. But we have to hurry. I have a feeling time goes faster in there and I don't want to risk losing Inoichi too. Besides," an evil smirk appeared on the interrogator's face, "We now have a spy in there." 

**XXXIII**

The boy was bleeding. No longer conscious. Sakura swallowed. There was something about him that was so eerily familiar that it screamed out to her. She knew this boy. He had once held the place in her heart that she had long since given to Iruka. And now she was tasked with curing his headache. But this headache wasn't like the one Yamanaka had. The boy's headache was due to his skull being cracked open against the wall. She could feel her hands trembling. Everything about this day was _wrong_. 

It had started with Iruka. He had been having trouble remembering things, something that had gotten worse over time. For now, she still managed to hide it from the other two. Iruka was hers to care for after all. Kakashi and Genma already had to care for each other. And something was off between them too. But they didn't speak of it, and she didn't speak of Iruka's condition. This morning, he had forgotten who she was. That had never happened before. No matter how bad he got, Iruka had always remembered her and Kakashi and Genma. 

He had wondered why they lived in that run-down apartment, convinced he had a much nicer apartment in some place called 'Konohagakure' and had been reminiscing about a place that sold 'ramen' – which was a kind of food, as far as Sakura could figure out. But he had never – _never_ – before forgotten who she was. He had refused to touch her, to use the last piece of paradise that they had saved specifically for this day. Iruka had kept blabbering on about how he'd taught her when she was younger, about how she was a fine 'kunoichi'. He had mistaken her for someone else entirely. 

Disappointed, she had left him to his imagination. 

After that, the day had gone from bad to worse. When she entered the apartment across the hall, Genma and Kakashi were having a fight. She had never seen them have a fight. Genma and Kakashi didn't fight. That wasn't their thing. They just argued a little sometimes and they would always soon make up. With paradise. 

But apparently they weren't having paradise anymore. Much like Sakura and Iruka. Though Genma had taken it a step further, refusing to sleep in the same bed as his silver-haired partner. All this, Sakura had inadvertently overheard before the two had noticed she was standing by the door. After that, they had pretended nothing had happened at all. But for the young woman it was impossible to ignore the tight feeling in her chest, the memory of the two men standing on opposite sides of the worn-out couch – yelling at each other. 

And now she had to cure a headache – before the boy died from his injuries. Looking up at the silver-haired bodyguard she had brought with her, tears pooled in the young woman's eyes. He frowned at her, motioned for her to administer the medicine. It wasn't going to help. She knew it and he knew it too. But Morino had sent his lieutenant out to rest and the guards had all gathered around the four of them. They would not make it out of here alive unless they found a way to keep the boy alive – and somehow managed to cure his headache in the process. 

In her lap, he opened his eyes. They were red. Red like that woman that they had robbed such a long time ago, but different. Why was she even remembering that woman now of all times? Seeing her had shocked Sakura, much like this boy had shocked her. They were familiar, they were important and yet… She could not remember a single thing about them. Was Iruka right after all…?

**XXXIV**

He skulked through suddenly abandoned streets. Occasionally his hand reached for where his pouch should be but found nothing. It didn't find his hitai-ate either. Where was home? What had happened? Why was he here? What was he even looking for? What was his name again? 

A man blocked his path. He looked rather dangerous, wearing a long overcoat over a grey uniform. His face was marred by two scars, his eyes hidden in she shadow of his hitai-ate. As the light caught the symbol on the stranger's hitai-ate, the man fell to his knees. His whispered words carrying far in the silence of the dark afternoon, "I wasn't crazy… Konohagakure… exists…" 

"Can you stand?" the stranger drew closer, leaving what little light there was behind him. 

The silhouette left him in the shadow as he looked up at the dark form, "Who are you…?" he wondered aloud, unsure if he might've fallen victim to his own mind after all. The place he was kneeling in didn't look like the street he had fallen to only seconds ago; he was surrounded by an iron box, the only light source being located directly behind the other man. It frightened him while at the same time giving the brunette a feeling of safety. He felt at home, even in this iron box. He felt more at home even than he did in the apartment he shared with Sakura. 

"What is your name?" the dark shape sounded demanding, but he could not answer him. He simply did not remember. So he gave him the name he _did_ remember. 

"Sa-Sakura… her name is Sakura Haruno…" 

The other seemed to smile, even though he couldn't see it, "That's good to hear. What is _your_ name?" 

"My name?" he shuddered, "I don't remember my name. Sakura told me to forget about all of it, about all the things that I keep thinking about. She doesn't understand that I can't. She won't see that they're memories. That they're realer than this place is. I think it scares her that they are. At least here she knows what she's supposed to do. At least here, she can pretend that everything will be alright. But it won't, will it?" 

"It won't," he leaned over the form that was hunched over in the middle of his protective jutsu, "Tell me your name. I can help you, but you need to say your name – even if you think you might be wrong. Just tell me your name." 

"My name? Why is it so important? You seem to know who I am. You tell me my name." 

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. Getting up, he looked behind him, "It's not working… He's too far gone." 

"Does he really need to remember?" a woman's voice, "Can't you help him?" 

"He needs to remember who he is for my jutsu to be enough to help him break free…" 

"Who I am?" looking up at the dark shadow looming over him, he smiled, "But I know who I _am_," He rose to his feet, squarely looking into surprised eyes. Beaming, the brunette saluted, "Ninja registration number 011850," he hesitated for a moment before adding, "Iruka… sensei."

**XXXV**

He had the same eyes. Kakashi stared down in pools of red. They were the same. It was impossible, but it was true. No-one had ever seen his eye, the one he kept covered up. Not even Genma. Truthfully, that eye scared him. It seemed to have a will of its own. It seemed to not even be _his_. This boy had two of them. What was he, a demon? Kakashi had long since accepted that the eye he had to keep covered up was not something he had been born with. It was the eye of a demon, the demon that had trailed him throughout his childhood years, always just a few steps behind. And here he stood facing another of its kin. 

Sakura looked at him, tears pooling in her eyes. Again, the silver-haired man gestured for her to administer Genma's headache medicine. It was the only chance they had. 

He looked on as the girl swallowed. Reaching into her pouch, she ignored the anxious reactions of the guards surrounding them. Or maybe she just did not see, her bright green eyes hidden away behind a river of tears. The guards relaxed somewhat when her hand reappeared holding nothing but a vial. Her tone was soft as she urged the boy to open his lips, but it did not work. 

As the guards around them stiffened, so did Kakashi. It was his job to protect her after all. Even though they were never going to survive this. He would sooner slit her throat himself than let these men have their way with her. The pain he had felt when he'd heard her call out from Iruka's apartment still weighed on his heart. They would not get their filthy hands on her. In the back, he noticed one of the men who had slammed the boy's head into the wall. He had seemed to enjoy the order, now looking over Kakashi's female companion with an evil gleam in his eye. He would be the first to force himself upon her, Kakashi knew. His hand rested upon his thigh, from where he could easily take out the concealed knife. He would protect her. Even if it meant killing her first. 

He watched as she tilted the strange boy's head back. Prayed to every god that he could think of as she pulled the cap of the vial off with her teeth. Silently counted the seconds as she emptied the contents of the vial between the boy's cracked lips. Held his breath as she gently closed the boy's mouth again, her fingers glowing slightly. Kakashi shivered as he looked on while Sakura's oddly glowing hand slowly moved over the boy's face; the wounds were disappearing right before his very eyes. As the men around him gasped, Kakashi wondered why Sakura had never before demonstrated this strange power. Had she been scared that the men would think her hexed? Had she fled from somewhere because of this strange power of hers? It couldn't be that this was actually the medicine working, could it? Genma would have informed them if he'd incorporated something flashy like glowing skin. So it was the girl then. And she had kept this strange power from them even when Iruka got hurt due to the collapsing couch. Even when Kakashi had felt the sting of a blade in her stead. Even when Genma lay dying on the couch this very moment. 

A sudden rage ripped through him, his fury enough to make his hair stand on end. She had been lying to them this whole time. She was capable of saving Genma, she had to be. She was saving this boy after all, what was the difference? His hand touched the concealed knife. She could save the love of his life and she chose not to. He wished he could kill her but he needed her alive until Morino and Yamanaka were both dead. After that, he promised himself, she would die by his own hand. Genma would be dead by then too, most likely. He might not even be alive this very moment. Kakashi didn't bother fighting the Darkness this time, sure that there was no point in even trying. 

**XXXVI**

"His heart!" rushing into the hospital room, Tsunade could do nothing but stare at the copy nin, "His heart is beating on its own…" 

**XXXVII**

She smiled up at him, at the man that she knew she would always be able to trust. Kakashi's gaze was cold, but she knew it to be an act. They needed to think of their survival after all. And right now, their survival depended on the survival of this strange boy. This strange boy that seemed so painfully close to her and yet was so far beyond her reach. 

Her hand was giving off a strange glow, her skin tingling as she slowly moved her hand over the boy's face. The blood was disappearing, his wounds closing themselves almost as if the injuries had never happened. Confused, she stared at her own actions, unsure how this was even possible but happy for the effects nonetheless. After all, this might save the boy, for now anyway. And if it held up… She might be able to save Genma. Clenching her jaw, she forced her body to exude more of this strange light; if she had any hope of saving Genma, they were running out of time.

**XXXVIII**

Falling into the chair that Kakashi had set out for him, Genma rubbed his temples. He could use some headache medicine himself after his primitive response to Yamanaka invading his personal memories. For a moment he allowed himself to indulge in precisely those memories. The precious ones. The ones that would have him die rather than share them with another soul. The first time Kakashi had taken him had been right here in this apartment, before Iruka showed up, long before Sakura joined their little group. Back when it was just the two of them, back when they hardly had a care in the world. They didn't need to worry about where their next meal would come from. They never worried about getting out of here. They had just been together. All the time. Genma could still feel how his lover would press up against him, questioning but never downright asking. Kakashi had been different then, shyer. Almost as if he didn't think Genma would stick around if he were to ask for sex. Almost as if he expected the older man to be offended. But Genma hadn't been. He had been wary of the younger man's advances only due to a lack of experience. He had been cautious with his boundaries for fear of going too far too fast. 

He remembered the first time Kakashi had entered him. It had been the strangest, most wonderful sensation he had ever experienced. His hand snaked down into his jogging pants, stroking himself as he recalled the strange new feelings that Kakashi had introduced him to. 

Suddenly feeling watched, Genma pulled his hand out of his pants, looking around to see if maybe the unthinkable had happened. But he was alone. Again. He hated being alone. However, the now quickly dissipating feeling had snapped him back to attention and he turned his gaze upon the three vials that were waiting for their added dose of poison. Without killing Yamanaka and Morino there would never even be a chance of having his old life back, if only for a little while. Dwelling on the past would have to be saved for later. He could do it very soon – from his deathbed, most likely. 

**XXXIX**

"For a second there I thought I had him…" the woman was clearly frustrated as she turned away from the man that lay trembling on the bed, "How is Ibiki doing?" she asked the blonde that stood watching the pair. 

The Hokage released her thumbnail, opening her mouth to answer but getting cut off by the master interrogator himself. His voice seemed to come from far away, but his answer was clear, "I have him, but he's going to need some extra help getting out of there. The sensei seems to have lost most of who he is to the genjutsu, he has no strength left to fight his way out." 

Walking over to the sensei and his rescuer, she let her hand hover over Ibiki's, "I can feel him, but it's faint…" 

"He's inside my iron coffin. It was all I could do to separate him from his own imagination." 

"You really think that your iron coffin was the way to go?" She gave him an incredulous look, "You could have just –" 

"I had to act quickly, the man was distraught. I –" Hesitating for only a moment, Ibiki continued quiet enough so the blonde wouldn't be able to hear him, "I worried he might take his own life." 

Nodding, she focused all her attention at the younger man laying pale in between white sheets. Kurenai let herself be absorbed by Ibiki's genjutsu, allowing her access to the world within a world with Iruka Umino been trapped inside. 

The feeling was strange, otherworldly. This wasn't the iron coffin that she'd come to know while training with Ibiki. This was something else entirely. The walls were completely solid, effectively cutting the inside out from the larger genjutsu pulling on them from outside. But there was something strange about the walls. Confused, Kurenai took a better look. The polished metal was beautifully decorated with – no, they were words! Incantations. Meant to keep the people within safe and the outside out. Ibiki had upped his game. She smiled, turning to the figure crouching in the far corner. 

He faced the wall, not looking at Ibiki standing in the center of the room or herself, standing a few steps behind and to Ibiki's left. Leaning close to the wall, the brunette seemed to mumble to himself, hiding away from the strangers invading what was – realistically speaking – his cell. Without thinking, Kurenai found herself taking a few steps closer to the chuunin, wanting above all else to reach him, to pull him free. 

Behind her, Ibiki chuckled quietly as the genjutsu master gasped. It hadn't been Ibiki who fortified the iron coffin – it was Iruka!**  
**

**XL**

He was getting there. Slowly the wounds were disappearing, the blood vanishing into thin air. The once-broken nose righted itself, the split lip covering up newly regrown teeth. Kakashi balled his fists. She would pay for withholding this power. He wouldn't let anyone else touch her, no. He would deliver punishment himself. 

He thought of Genma and the memories he had made with the other man. The first time they had gone out to eat together, how natural it had been to move into the apartment that Genma had. How effortless life had been before the arrival of Iruka, of Sakura. Genma had disliked Iruka at first glance, but Kakashi had felt there was more to the young man. He had invited him over for dinner when the brunette had none, had defended him against Genma when his lover had opposed the sudden invasion of their private cocoon. There had been a reason for it, most likely. But Kakashi could not remember. All he saw in his mind's eye was Genma, laying on the couch, dying alone. 

He took a deep breath, quelling the Darkness that grew inside him. Not yet. Genma had to hold out for just a little longer. 

**XLI  
**

"Iruka-sensei," he called out gently, "I brought a visitor today. Would you like to say hello?" 

He just shook his head, continuing his zealous work. The knife he had dropped out in the street would prove handy in here, but he didn't have it anymore. Instead, he used the strange light that came out of his fingertips when he willed it. He needed to do this, he needed to get this finished so he could save Sakura, Kakashi, Genma. He didn't have time to waste on saying hello. Even if his work exhausted him, even if he would die in his efforts to save them – if he could, it would all be worth it. Everything. But there was the chance that he would die, so in between the protective charms, the spells that he knew would work even though he could not remember ever having written them before, he wrote something else. He wrote of his love for the people he had met inside, of his wishes for their futures. He wrote of his dreams of living – actually living – together. He wrote of his memories, both those that he had created in that strange town and the ones he had of that _other _town, the town called Konohagakure. He wrote of his encounter with the Uniformed Man. How this man had helped him break free from the pain, how he was shielding him even now. Iruka had written everything down. 

He heard the woman's voice, "What are these scribbles?" 

Wanting to tell her to leave them alone, he turned, but the Uniformed Man answered in his stead, "I don't know. They seem to be a different language. The characters make no sense, lots of them get repeated over and over. He also seems to be working in lines from left to right, rather than our right to left columns. I have no idea what it means, but it seems important to him somehow." 

Grudgingly nodding in agreement, Iruka went back to work. Elaborating on his intense love for the pink-haired woman in between the characters that would keep her safe from harm. The Uniformed Man had explained to him that this was a sort of in-between world from where they could get to the 'real' one – whatever that meant. It was Konohagakure, undoubtedly. But why that place was more real than the other one, he could not tell. He had felt it pull on him more strongly than the world he had been in, but that had stopped the moment the Uniformed Man had erected this limbo around him. It was a shield, the Uniformed Man had explained, cutting him off from the ties that bound him to either world. Would it keep him from seeing his friends again, he'd asked. The reply he had gotten that day still bounced around in Iruka's skull, '_I don't know. So far you're the only one I've been able to reach. But if I can get to them, I will bring them here. Getting to the other side is easier from here. So you just hang tight, Iruka-sensei. I'll be back soon.'  
_

He hadn't been back soon. As best as the man could tell, it had been at least three days. He had had the time to write out most of his life's story in between the protective charms. Though it was strange that neither hunger nor thirst plagued him, the man had decided to pay it no mind. It seemed a law in this limbo. Apparently it was also law that only the Uniformed Man could enter and exit at will – and now that man could bring others into this place. He was starting to get the feeling that he may not get out of this alive, so now he feverishly carved into the wall – writing down anything and everything that might help his friends escape the Uniformed Man should they get caught too. 

"Iruka?" Again it was the woman's voice that called out. Again it was the Uniformed Man's voice that replied. 

"He won't respond unless you add the 'sensei'. I'm thinking that over the years that has become such an important part of his identity that he needs it in order to recognize his own name. Earlier, when I plucked him off the street, he said he didn't know his name. But when he realized that all I needed was for him to identify himself, he immediately gave me his ninja registration number and his name and title. I'm certain that to him, right now, 'sensei' is as much part of his name as 'Iruka' is. 

Behind him, the woman walked around. He wrote along with their conversation even though it made no sense to him. 

"Has he been doing this the whole time?" 

"For the most part. At first, we were talking. I was trying to explain to him who I was but he didn't seem to be able to understand me. Then at some point, Lady Fifth asked me something, so I turned around for a moment to answer her. When I turned back he'd covered about half a wall with sealing and protective signs. And he'd just started using that weird writing too." 

The man frowned, he remembered the voice calling out from behind the Uniformed Man now. And the way the Uniformed Man had stood there for a full day, his back turned towards him. He had contemplated going over to see what his rescuer was looking at, but had refrained from doing so as he had feared to anger the man. 

"So we were right… time really does go faster inside the jutsu…" 

"It might also be a side effect of the iron coffin – to an extent. It doesn't actually behave the way it's supposed to in here…" the Uniformed Man almost sounded a little embarrassed, maybe. The man shrugged lightly, if the Uniformed Man felt unsure that might improve his chances. It might also mean that his time was running out. 

"Alright," she paused for a moment, getting close to the man crouching on the floor as she studied his frantic scribbling, "So how do you suppose we get this guy out of here? I can already feel my power getting sapped away – you've been in here a lot longer. I don't know how you're still maintaining the jutsu right now, but if we don't hurry it up I won't be able to be of any help…" 

**XLII**

She looked up at him, victory in her eyes. The boy lived. The boy blinked. The boy felt his head. The boy spoke, "What… happened…?" 

Morino had been standing motionless, watching the scene play out before him. Of course he had, he had nothing to lose and only little to gain. But even now, he did not move. Even now, he did not speak. Even now. 

The guards seemed ill at ease, their leader not being one to leave them to think for themselves, probably. Kakashi frowned, motioned for the girl to take charge – the Darkness had pulled him in too deep to talk. She took his cue, looking at the young man with soft eyes, her tone gentle as she explained, "You got hurt. I did my best to help you but I need you to tell me, does your head still hurt?" 

He frowned at the directness of the question, the quietness of her demeanor. But as the raven-haired male on her lap shook his head, Kakashi decided that whichever way Sakura wanted to handle this was fine by him. It seemed they would reach their end goal without too much trouble, most likely. He would let her have her way until such time that he could deal with her himself. 


	4. Chapter 4

**XLIII  
**

"Iruka-sensei," he moved to stand directly in front of the younger man, "I need you to focus," looking over at the raven-haired woman standing a few steps behind him, Ibiki sighed, "Stop writing for just a moment, Iruka-sensei. We need your help." 

**XLIV  
**

She trotted after the silver-haired man, head bowed down as the heaviness on her heart drug her down. This was what Kakashi's Darkness must feel like, she thought. As the rain drizzled down, making her hair frizzy and her socks soggy Sakura contemplated going into a back alley – any back alley, anywhere where she would not have to be with Kakashi. There was a cloud hanging around the man, a fog oozing from his body. Fumes as toxic as the poison that Genma had been preparing for the lieutenant. And even though she didn't understand why, Sakura knew that these feelings were directed at her and her alone. She sighed quietly, not daring to look up at the back of the man that had saved her life on so many occasions, her eyes locked at his heels – just so she could follow where he went. 

Tomorrow they would have to be back here again. Tomorrow they would start Yamanaka on his medication. The medication that would – without fail – end his life. Genma had assured her of that. Genma… would Genma be able to pierce through Kakashi's foul mood once more? It seemed heavier this time, even darker than before. It might just be that she had never been alone with him during one of his moods though. Yes, that had to be it. Probably. She swallowed hard. Genma would bring him back from this brink as well. He always had. Genma took care of Kakashi. Sakura took care of – where was he? A sudden panic overcame here. Wasn't the plan for Iruka to wait for them outside? At the corner? Did they pass that corner on their way out? Did they go another route? Was Iruka still there, waiting for them? Did he even remember who she was? Maybe he had gotten lost again, Sakura had been forced to look for her lover several times over the last few months, never knowing where his confused mind would take him. Worry for Iruka won over the fear of Kakashi, and she spoke up, "K-Kakashi? Where is Iruka? Did we not pass him on our way out?" 

He shrugged, "Iruka's your responsibility, I'm going to see Genma." 

**XLV**

Iruka looked around with new-found determination in his eyes. Ibiki had relinquished the jutsu that had held him away from both worlds, leaving the sensei on his own in the world where he knew he would find Sakura. Before setting him free, the tokubetsu had given him a token of the other world, of Konohagakure, to convince the pink-haired chuunin with. An hitai-ate, the leaf symbol displayed as proudly as the sensei remembered it. He sighed softly, looking around the grey, desolate area that had been home to the four of them for so long – yet according to Ibiki it had only been about four weeks. Four weeks had passed out there while in here they had struggled to survive for too long. How long? He did not know. Months at least, years maybe. Long enough to forget all about the outside world. Long enough to forget about their friends and family in a world so far away, yet so close by. Long enough for him to forget that he had known Sakura since she was but a little girl. Long enough for him to fall in love with her, to have sex with her. Iruka's fist balled around the cold metal in his hand, his actions over the past – four weeks? Or four years? – had been deplorable to say the least. Disgusting. Wrong. The only upside was that Ibiki didn't know yet. That none of them did. Maybe the secret could stay in here, maybe they would even forget about it once they made it out there. 

Choosing his direction randomly, Iruka began to walk. He didn't know where he was, where his apartment was, where Sakura was. But he didn't have time to think about it. Three days, Ibiki had told him. Three days to get to Sakura, to make her believe him, to help her remember. Three days to get her back into the world that lay beyond. With no help from anyone, nothing to prove his claim other than a piece of metal on a strip of dark fabric. Nothing but a weird carving that was oddly soothing to his frayed mind. Iruka shook his head a little, there was no time to think. He had to find Sakura. 

Sakura? Sakura Haruno? She was on Kakashi's team though, why would he still need to look after her? She'd grown so much since he'd taught her, she had even managed to convince one of the sannin to become her tutor. Why would she ever listen to him? Just a schoolteacher. What was he to her? 

Her partner. He was her partner. But not everyone knew. Kakashi knew. Genma knew. Who didn't know? Who else could possibly know him? There had been a woman once, several actually. Kakashi never did bother to remember their names. He had been right of course, they had never wanted to stay with Iruka anyway. Only Sakura had. And he had hurt her. Hurt her so much. Made her worry, too. All the time. Every time he recalled his other life, he hurt her. Sighing softly, Iruka shoved his new treasure into his pocket. The hitai-ate had to be kept safe, it was his only proof that he hadn't gone entirely mad just yet. 

His feet carried him without knowing the way, without even knowing the destination. They carried him toward Sakura, toward the person he loved most, the person he was sent to rescue from this place. His hand gripped the metal in his pocket tight, he couldn't afford to lose it now. He couldn't afford any mistakes. Three days was all he had. 

**XLVI**

"Are you sure we made the right choice by letting him go?" Kurenai worried the inside of her lip as she looked down at the pale form of Iruka Umino, "Even though he seemed to remember the important things, he still looked to be pretty out of it…" 

Ibiki sighed, looking back and forth between the sensei and the young girl, "I didn't have a choice, Kurenai. I couldn't hold him in there any longer. The pull between the jutsu he was in and my own was slowly pulling his mind apart. Had I kept him any longer, Iruka would've died. We can only pray he remembers enough of what I told him to be able to locate Sakura and pull her out with him when we engage this new jutsu…" 

She slowly closed her eyes, "If only Inoichi was here to help us…" 

"Dad might not be here, but I am. I'll do whatever it takes to get Sakura back out, you can count on me," holding her friend's hand tightly, Ino swallowed hard, "We just _have_ to get them out, I could never forgive myself if we fail here." 

"In that case we should get back to work," turning his back on the beds, Ibiki quickly formed the seal they'd been working on, "We still haven't figured out how to safely transition their consciousnesses back to the right bodies." 

**XLVII  
**

He found her sitting on the old, ripped cushions that had once belonged to his couch. The couch that had given way under the stress of her frantically moving body. They had never attempted the same position again. Part of him lamented that. He would have liked to have her sit on his face just one more time. He would have liked to touch her one more time, but he couldn't now. He couldn't touch her like that while remembering what he once knew; that she was first and foremost his student, that he was first and foremost her sensei. Not her partner, though they were technically equals now. She held the same rank he did. Chuunin. The word sounded strange in his mind, but he could not bring himself to say it out loud, it would make her worry even more. 

"Iruka," her voice sounded tired, her eyes puffy from crying. 

"Sakura," he spoke softly, scared to break out of the bubble he felt around himself. The bubble he had so painstakingly erected to keep this world from seeping into his mind once more. It would be all too easy to give in, to give up. To let this world take him once more so he wouldn't have to fight for every breath he took. But he wouldn't. It was his duty to save her now as she had saved him while his mind roamed the long, twisted lanes of his forgotten memories. 

"Where were you?" she did not expect an answer, he had never had one for her in the past. 

"I was… out," this was the best he could give her, he could not even begin to imagine how he would explain what had happened to him these last few days. 

She nodded, refocusing her attention on the little work she held in her hands. It was a notebook she had lifted from the shop months ago. In it, she had written down all their important memories. The day they had met, the day she had followed him in here to be with him the way Genma was with Kakashi. Parts of the story were also scribbled on little notes, hung throughout the apartment they shared. The apartment that Kakashi nor Genma had visited in a long time. Not since he had started to forget. She'd kept them out, saying he was hers to care for, like Genma was Kakashi's to care for. Looking around, Iruka wondered if maybe she had been embarrassed about his sorry state, that maybe she had felt inadequate to deal with his deterioration. But still she'd stuck with him through all of it, never letting on how hard it must've been on her. It made her even more precious to him, made him want to stay with her even more. But the only place he could ever be with her was in here, and this was not a good place to be for anyone. 

Iruka briefly wondered what would happen to Kakashi and Genma after Sakura and himself left, but he pushed the thought away violently. Sakura was his to care for, those two had each other. Ibiki had explained that he could only take one person with him when he left – and Iruka had chosen Sakura. It hadn't even really been a choice, his heart longed for her to be with him, even if there would be nothing between them anymore. 

"Sakura, I need to tell you something," he walked over to her, sat down on the cushions beside her, "I… I've been really out these last few days…" 

"I know," she smiled bravely, "I knew it when you didn't recognize me this morning. I thought… I thought I'd lost you for good. And then when you weren't there anymore when Kakashi and I came out… I just didn't know what to do. I… I'm sorry, I couldn't even find the strength to go looking for you anymore…" 

"This morning?" That couldn't be right. He'd been gone for days, if not weeks. 

"So you forgot about that too, huh?" a bitter laugh shook her as tears started to flow. Sobbing quietly, Sakura shook her head, "Forget about what I said, it wouldn't be hard for you to forget even more, I'm sure…" 

**XLVIII  
**

He had lost the girl somewhere, he couldn't even care about it anymore. She had saved the boy that no one cared about and then disappeared into the night. She would never help Genma, he knew that now. Kakashi only had one purpose left in this world; to make it home before the love of his life died so he could be there for him in his final moments. After that, he would look for Sakura again. He would make her pay in blood. 

Opening the door to apartment 303 he called out softly, "Love, I'm home," holding his breath until he finally heard his lover's voice. 

"I'm in the kitchen, Love," the voice cracked and Genma coughed, "I'm sorry, I can't seem to get up…" 

"It's alright, I'll come to you," checking the lock on the door one more time, he made his way over to the small kitchen, avoiding to look at the living room furniture which seemed to be in a sorrier state every single day. In the kitchen, he crouched beside his lover. Genma was leaning against the kitchen cupboards, narrowly avoiding laying down on the cold floor with the broken tiles. The chair that had once been in here had crumpled down to almost nothing, just a pile of old wood and fabric. Kakashi could've sworn it was the best they owned, but now he wasn't so sure anymore, "I'm here Love, I'll help you up." 

As his lover wrapped his strong arms around him, Genma let out a small sigh. It had been too long since he'd felt Kakashi's embrace, too long since he'd smelled the younger man's scent. He was easily lifted from the ground, it only reminded him of how weak he had become. He was dying, there was no point in denying it any longer. A few more hours, maybe a day. It was all he had left. Kakashi knew it too, it was clearly written on his covered face. 

Kakashi tried to ignore the feelings welling up in his chest. Looking down at the man he loved, hanging in his arms like a bag of sand, he swallowed thickly. Genma would not be around much longer, but at least he had made it home before his lover died. He had to hold on to that. Lifting the man a little higher, he carried him over to their shared bedroom. His own bedroom. Genma had left this place months ago. He would've taking him to the couch, their living room always being the preferred place, but the couch was gone. Fallen to rubble, most likely, like the rest of their apartment. Kakashi couldn't spare a thought to wonder what had happened. The couch had been intact last time he was here. That had been only hours ago. Genma's condition had deteriorated more than anticipated as well. In the back of his head, Kakashi knew the two were connected, but thinking about it would take time away from his lover. There was no proof to believe that fixing up the apartment would help the older man live – why would he even contemplate the possibility? Was it one of those strange things that he just knew? But he didn't know it. Kakashi shook his head, desperation must've gotten to him, most likely. There was no time to think about such things. 

Gently his lover laid him down on the bed, pulling the green comforter over his shaking body. Genma tried to smile, but his muscles had forgotten how to, so he only nodded, "Thank you." 

"Don't thank me. It's my fault we're even in this mess," the silver-haired man sounded grumpy, emotions threatening to overtake him, possibly. 

"You can't know that." 

"I can't but I do." 

Genma shook his head softly, "We'll manage." 

'I'll manage, you won't live long enough to manage much more,' he didn't say it, though they both knew it to be true. 

"Kakashi, come lay down with me," 'I haven't the strength to be alone anymore.' 

"I'll get you some water first," the man turned to the door. 

"There are no more glasses," he coughed, ignoring the bright red spots he painted on his hand as he continued, "I dropped the last one when I fell." 

"I'll find something." 

"Please don't leave me. I…" Genma swallowed, "Don't leave me alone anymore." 

'I don't know if I can stay here and watch you die,' he did not speak the words. Instead crawling over the older man until he lay between him and the wall, "I'll be here." 

"Thank you," 'It won't be much longer.'

**XLIX**

"We don't belong here, Sakura." 

"Prove it." 

He motioned to the hitai-ate laying on the cushions between them. 

"You could've found that anywhere." 

"I didn't find it. I got it." 

"From a Uniformed Man who held you captive for days," her tone was skeptical, "Even though you haven't been away more than a few hours." 

"Time flows differently in each world." 

"Prove it." 

Iruka sighed. He could not prove it. But if he didn't, Sakura would remain here when the Uniformed Man – when the real Ibiki Morino – pulled him out of here, "You'll have to trust me." 

She laughed, then. A sharp laugh that stung his heart like a kunai, "Trust you? You've been getting crazier by the day for the last few months. How could I trust you to know anything at this point?" 

The kunai pried open his heart, it hurt. What was a kunai? "Sakura," he started, but he had no words to finish with. 

She sighed, "Iruka, just go to bed. You're tired." 

He was tired, he was so tired that his bones felt heavier than they'd ever been. The most grueling missions did not even compare, but he had to press on. Iruka knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if he slept, he would wake up to the reality of this genjutsu once more, "I wouldn't be able to sleep. Just hear me out." 

"Again with this?" she shook her head, "You'll sleep. You always do. And when you scream, I'll be there to wake you up. Honestly, I don't want to sleep in the same bed as you anymore. I don't want to live in this apartment anymore. But I care for you the way Genma cares for Kakashi –" 

"Genma no longer cares for Kakashi. I have been out of it, but even I can see. It is Kakashi who cares for Genma now, just as I would care for you." 

She barked another laugh, "You can't. You're too crazy." 

Iruka bowed his head, "I am not crazy, Sakura." 

"See? There you go again. The first thing crazy people do is try to convince you that they're not crazy, that _you_ are." 

"Anyone would. If you call them crazy," his tone was soft, the kunai in his heart forcing the wound to never close, to ever keep growing, "We seem to have reached an impasse." 

"No, we have reached the point where my patience runs out. Go to bed, Iruka. I'll watch over you as I've always done," 'Even though I don't think I've ever wanted to…' 

"Have you? Have you always watched over me, Sakura? Is that the relationship we've always had?" 

"It is." 

"Then what of the time when you first joined us? Did I not look after you, then? What of before?" 

"There is no before," but her tone was doubtful, disbelieving of her own words, most likely. 

"You moved here after we did. You moved into the apartment next to Kakashi and Genma. Do you remember that, Sakura?" 

The white hall, the bright light, the people that were there but could not see her – she pushed it all away, "We have always been here." 

"How did we meet, Sakura?" he felt helpless, unable to save the one person he wanted to save above all else. Why did she not remember? Why did she push his questions aside? 

"We have always known each other. Ever since…" 'Ever since I was a little girl,' but how could that be? Had she been a little girl once? She must have, but could not remember. And if she _had_ been a little girl, what had been their relationship then? Iruka had once protested that he was older, that it was not right for them to be together like Kakashi and Genma were because of it. And because of something else, but he had been unable to recall what that something else was. Had it been that they had been together before? When she had been a little girl? 

A flash of blonde hair, a red ribbon, handed to her to keep her hair off her forehead. Her large forehead. Billboard brow_. Ino!_  
Letting her head drop in her hands, Sakura wept. 

**L  
**

"Kakashi?" his voice was weak, tremors continually shaking his body as he fought for every breath he took, "I don't want to go like this…" 

He swallowed, "I don't want you to go at all." 

"I don't want to leave you," Genma coughed, ignoring the blood that stained the hand covering his mouth, "I worry…" 

"You shouldn't worry about anything, Love," shifting, he rested on his elbow as his free hand stroked his lover's cheek, "I'll manage, somehow." 

"What will you do when the Darkness comes back?" 

He frowned, looking away from the pale brunette for a moment, "I'll manage somehow." 

Genma shook his head a little, "You and I both know that you won't be able to manage it alone. And Iruka is –" 

"I don't need him to keep me safe," 'I need you. Always you. Only you.' 

Sighing, Genma bowed his head. There was no use arguing, and it took up too much of his precious energy anyway. Energy he needed dearly, "Then let me do it for you one more time, Kakashi. One more time that you can remember if you need to." 

"You're too weak," the words came out clipped, through gritted teeth. He would not ask this of his lover, not now. Not when they both knew it would be the last time. Not when they knew it could shorten their time together, possibly. 

Genma nodded solemnly, "You always say no when you need it the most. I should've known that this time wouldn't be any different." 

The silver-haired man shrugged uncomfortably, "It's not that, though. I just…" 

"Kakashi!" wrestling himself up to lean on one arm as his lover did, Genma coughed once more. Unable to hide the blood that fell to the off-white pillowcase, he grimaced. But even as his lover's eye seemed glued to the flecks of red, Genma pressed on, "Then it won't be about you. Maybe once more, I'd like it to be about _me_. Fuck me, Kakashi. Don't make me leave you without feeling you one more time. I've held out this long, I've waited for you. Even when my world went black I waited for you, even though I can barely even see your face anymore, I'm waiting for you. Even if I cannot find the strength to support my own body any longer…" Sighing, he let himself drop to the bed, suppressing the cough that welled up in his throat he whispered, "Kakashi… do this for me, I beg you…" 

**LI**

"Inoooo!" she cried out once more, but he didn't know who or what 'Ino' was, so he just sat there. She had not wanted him to touch her in weeks, months maybe. So Iruka could do nothing but sit there and watch her cry, "Ino… how could I forget Ino?" teary eyes found his own, but he found he could only shrug. 

"I forgot too, Sakura. That's what this world does to us." 

"Ka-kakashi? And Genma?" 

"I believe they're from the same place we are, but…" worrying the inside of his lip, he tried to decide whether it was wise to tell her the truth. 'I can only take one person back with me and I chose you, Sakura'. It was not possible. 

Still, she knew, "We'll have to leave them behind, won't we?" 

He nodded, "I can bring only one, Sakura." 

"The Uniformed Man, will he help them?" 

"He will try," 'So far it seems like he's been unsuccessful.' 

"I love you, Iruka." 

"I love you too," 'Just not like I thought I did.' 

"But we were never meant to be together like this, were we?" 

He shook his head, unable to speak up as big, green eyes filled up with tears once more.

"Can you… can you tell me how we should be together, Iruka? How we were?" 

"No… he said… the Uniformed Man said that you have to remember yourself. I can help you with some of the details, but I must admit my own memory hasn't fully recovered either." 

She nodded thoughtfully, bringing one hand to her face to bite down on the thumbnail. The action was familiar, though it had never been her own. Another blonde had done this. One that she was familiar with but the relationship was very different from the one she had with Ino. Ino had been her friend. This person… "Lady Tsunade used to do this," she mumbled around her thumb, "Lady Tsunade… she was my teacher, the one who taught me medical… ninjutsu?" looking up, the girl wore a deep frown, her hand slowly sinking back into her lap, "Iruka, what's 'ninjutsu'?" 

Straightening his back, he answered in an instructor's tone, "Ninjutsu is one of the three main categories of jutsu. The term is mainly used to describe the use of chakra taking on various physical forms to be of use to the wielder. Ninjutsu is subcategorized in several different classes such as medical ninjutsu, nature ninjutsu and barrier jutsu. Most ninjutsu requires the use of chakra combined with hand signs, though there are exceptions. Through ardent training certain ninjutsu can become second nature to the shinobi caster." 

Sakura's tone was sarcastic though she wore a soft smile, "Yes, very helpful, _sensei_. I'm sure the whole class could follow… along… with you…" taken aback, she looked up at the scarred brunette, hands coming up to hide her mouth as she spoke ever so softly, "You were my sensei… back at the Academy. Iruka-_sensei… _no wonder it felt wrong for you to…" she let the words hang in the air, unable to complete the sentence as she slowly started to recall more and more of her Academy days – laced with memories of the Iruka she had known in here; the Iruka that she had shared so many Paradises with. 

Iruka's tone was soft, "You understand now, don't you?" watching her nod, a gentle smile broke through on the sensei's face, "For what it's worth, I didn't remember until the Uniformed Man asked for my identification," she shot him a confused look, "He was worried that I was too far gone, that I couldn't get back to who I used to be the way I was. They can help us, but ultimately we have to get out of here ourselves. And the only way that's going to happen is if we remember who we really are, instead of what we've become in here. When he asked for my name, I couldn't answer him. But then…" he fell silent for a few seconds, had there been another person there? Iruka couldn't remember, but soldiered on for Sakura, "In any case, he then asked me if I could identify myself. I gave him my ninja registration number and added that I was Iruka-sensei – though at the time I had no idea what that title meant anymore." 

"So that's why you couldn't give me the answers…" her thoughtful tone, coupled with the lack of fidgeting that had been her coping mechanism since the first time he'd seen her in this genjutsu put him at ease, and he nodded, "I still don't remember everything though, and I certainly have no idea what my ninja registration number is – or what that even means." 

"But you know who you are now, don't you? Tell me who you are." 

She blinked, opening her mouth but closing it again. Fidgeting for a moment, she took a deep breath, "I am Sakura Haruno, a shinobi from Konohagakure. Member of Team Seven under Kakashi Hatake. I am a medical kunoichi trained by Lady Tsunade Senju, the fifth Hokage herself." 

Iruka smiled proudly, "That's right," bringing his hand to his chest, he tore through the faded T-shirt to get to the seal embedded in his skin, touching it lightly, he spoke, louder now, "This is Iruka Umino and Sakura Haruno calling Ibiki Morino, we know who we are and…" swallowing, Iruka's tone wavered, a plea seeping in, "Could you please get us the heck out of here…?" 

**LII**

He swallowed. His heart heavy as he removed the older man's jogging pants one last time. He couldn't bear to look at his lover, couldn't bear to talk. Genma had begged him for one last time – Kakashi didn't even know if the other man would live through it. 

Gently, he removed the last piece of clothing from the trembling body that had once belonged to the man that owned his heart. It didn't feel like he was touching Genma anymore. The constant tremors had taken the place of what had once been excited quivering. The raspy breath had taken the place of the short pants and huffs he'd grown to love so much. The eyes were glazed over in a way that had nothing to do with lust; his lover simply could not see him anymore. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he worked up enough saliva to comfortably encase his lover's cock, only half as firm as he remembered it to be. He took his time, ensuring that his lover could at least feel his own release once more. Kakashi wasn't sure he would ever dare enter Genma's body again, fearing to hurt the older man even more. 

He briefly remembered a time on the couch, where he had bruised the other man's abdomen whilst taking his own pleasure. Even though Genma had assured him – over and over – that he didn't mind it, Kakashi still felt guilty about it to this day. He felt guilty about a lot of things concerning Genma, knowing in the back of his head that none of this had been the brunette's choice. 

Kakashi blinked. Hadn't been Genma's choice? It was true that Kakashi had pursued him first – or was it? He couldn't remember. It shouldn't matter, but it did. Frustrated, he looked up. 

Brown eyes looked back at him, _saw_ him. Genma's smile was still weak, his body struggling to survive even now. But was it Kakashi's imagination that the other man seemed a little more stable? That it seemed it was but a little easier to breathe? Probably. It had to be. Genma was dying after all – this was the last time they would ever be together like this. 

"Kakashi," his voice came out stronger than it had since he'd called out to his lover when the younger man had just come home. It sounded stronger even than the last time he'd used it before then, "Kakashi, come up here, let me slick you up," 'Just like I've always done, let me do that one more time.' 

Unable to speak, he nodded. Could it really be anything other than his imagination? Was it really true that the quivers shaking Genma's body were the ones he'd enjoyed before? Had Genma really somehow regained his sight? It couldn't be. But it was. Moving up the man's body, Kakashi's mind wondered how this might be possible before remembering a lesson he had learned a long time ago. So long perhaps, it seemed like another life. Sometimes, right before they leave this world for good, people miraculously improve – only to depart shortly after. Still, if that was indeed the case, he would give Genma all he had. Before the man left him for the afterlife, he would do everything in his power to grant him any wish. 

His lips almost automatically sought out and enclosed the tantalizing cock before him. Kakashi's heated skin almost burned him, but he held fast, working his tongue around the throbbing flesh to slick him up, substitute the lube they hadn't had since… he could not remember when. Had they ever had it? They hadn't had the money to buy such luxuries in a long time. Had they ever? Had there been a life in which they didn't have to worry about such things? Inwardly, Genma shook his head. This apartment had always been his home, and it hadn't taken long for it to be Kakashi's home as well. They had never known anything but the struggle they'd endured for so long, together with Iruka and later Sakura. Had Iruka always been there? Frowning lightly, he forced his mind to forget once more, as it had many times before. There wasn't much time left, it was just Kakashi and him, just like in the beginning. He couldn't muster up enough saliva to slicken the cock before him to his lover's liking, Kakashi was always careful about these things, but Genma didn't care. He never had, but this time… it didn't matter anyway. His whole body ached and burned, still he welcomed the prospect of feeling Kakashi's cock inside of him even though it would sting from lack of lubricant. This was one pain he'd welcome if only to distract him from his suffering.

"Love…" it was a mere breath on Kakashi's part, a slight protest to Genma's inability to slicken him up enough, but the older man cut him off, his voice coming out a little stronger than it had before. 

"It's alright, Kakashi. I want to feel you like this," 'I can only hope that this pain will cut through the agony, that it will be the strongest sensation in my body. This is all I can do to really feel you this last time.' 

He nodded, moving back slowly. Neither man spoke as he got into position. Genma wished he could tell the younger man to take him any way he saw fit, knowing that it would help Kakashi fight the Darkness that was overcoming him once more. But he could not get his lips to form the words, he could not stand the thought of Kakashi turning him over. He wouldn't be allowed to see his lover's face as he died; the pain associated with moving that much didn't even bother him anymore. Ever since his eyesight had returned though, Genma had but one wish: To look into his lover's eyes as he passed away. 

Feeling his legs being lifted gently, a small but content sigh escaped him. Kakashi's gaze sought his once more, trying to see whether the sound had been from pleasure or pain, no doubt. He forced a smile on his face, forced his cracking voice to come out whilst keeping the tears locked away inside his soul, "Kakashi… take the eyepatch off." 'Let me see that last part of you that you've always hidden away.' 

He startled, his eye wide as he stared at the man that had delivered the most unwanted request. Had he not promised himself he would give Genma all he wanted in his final moments? But how could he do that? What if the Demon's eye made his condition worsen? What if it cut off these last few moments they had between them? What if…? 

Dropping his head, Kakashi sighed heavily. He would do it. he always knew he would do it. Even in the time before he knew Genma, he had known _of _Genma. And he had always known that if the older man asked him to reveal the eye that wasn't his, he would. It was important, after all. It could even save their lives – wait, no it couldn't. Where did he ever get that idea? Still, his hand unstoppably reached up, tore away the eyepatch that he'd been wearing his entire adult life. What of before? He did not know. It did not matter. All that mattered was granting Genma's request. 

He watched as the younger man discarded the fabric that had intrigued him since their first meeting, though he had never once asked about it, feeling it was up to Kakashi to break the silence on the subject. The eyelid covering what was presumably Kakashi's other eye trembled, but did not open. The scar running across it clearly visible on the pale skin. Kakashi shuddered, averting his gaze to the wall for a few moments before looking down, continuing to maneuver himself into position in a manner that would hopefully not hurt Genma even more. He sighed softly, if Kakashi wasn't ready to reveal himself even now, he would have to die with his curiosity. 

His persistent wiggling had gotten him into position at last, and he threw one more look at his lover. Genma frowned and it immediately made him worry he had hurt the man after all, but then he realized, "Soon, Love. I swear." 

Genma nodded, defeated. He would take his curiosity to the grave after all. His vision was already waning, his body trembling once more. He felt stiff, like rigor had already begun to set in, even before his heart stopped beating. Slowly, he closed his eyes. If only he could feel Kakashi before the end, that was his last wish. The only wish he still had a hope of being granted. If only the younger man would hurry, for soon he'd be fucking a corpse. 

Biting his lip, he shook the cynical thoughts off. Kakashi wasn't stalling, after all, time was simply starting to slow down, to slowly dwindle into nothing. This must be what it was like to die. It was almost funny, of all the times he'd almost died, this was by far the slowest, the heaviest, the hardest. 

Almost died? When had he almost died? Being so close to death must play tricks on the mind, he had never before been close to death… Probably. 

The other man pressed up to him, pressed into him, Kakashi's form was leaning over him. This was it. The one thing he'd been waiting for, he could die now. 

"Love," it was the softest sound he had ever heard, possibly, "Open your eyes, Love." 

**LIII**

Tsunade couldn't believe her eyes, the group inside the hospital room had more than doubled over the past twenty minutes or so, each and every one of its members doing their very best to reach Iruka, to pull him out. 

They were actually doing it. The atmosphere had changed dramatically. No one had ever been so close to pulling any of them out before. Iruka's eyelids shuddered, one of his hands twitched. On the bed beside him, Sakura too, stirred ever so slightly. The Hokage bit down on the nail of her thumb, it was all she could do to stay put, to stay perfectly still, scared as she was she might break someone's concentration, that she might burst the bubble they were working in. 

"I can reach Kakashi! I swear, he's right here!" Kurenai's voice cut through the silence, a wave of movement suddenly breaking the quiet, somber tone everyone had been battling in. 

Ibiki moved over, ungracefully pushing a nurse aside, "I'll take him. Kurenai, assist the extraction team," his face was grim, there was little hope, but even this tiny bit of optimism was more than they had ever expected. 

The raven-haired woman rushed to Iruka's aid, forming the seals even before she'd stopped walking, muttering under her breath as he searched for and located the sensei's chakra, pleased as she found Sakura's as well. It was going to be a hard battle, with neither prisoner having any strength left to fight, but Kurenai would be damned is she'd let that stop her from giving it her all. Orders flew through the air, people buzzing as they obeyed. They had but the smallest of windows, a chance so small it ought not even exist, but they would break them out. By god, they would break them _all _out. 

**LIV**

His eyes opened slowly, his vision blurrier than it had ever been. Kakashi's face was but hair's breath away, yet he could not see. Something was different, the eyepatch had definitely hidden something from view. The bright red reminding him of the blood he'd been coughing up for months now. It should scare him, he thought, but it didn't. Somehow, this sight was a familiar one, though he could not remember ever seeing it before. He could not remember anything, not even his own name. Only one thing remained; he was dying. 

Something moved inside him, a soft grunt sounded through the quiet air as warm breath tickled his lips. Kakashi's breath. His lover's breath. Genma tried to breathe as well, one ragged breath after another. But he soon found it took too much focus, he wouldn't be able to feel Kakashi move inside him if he concentrated on breathing, on staying alive. Which was more important? He didn't know. Unless he knew, he wouldn't be able to make a decision. So until he could decide, he would alternate. He would feel Kakashi until his vision blurred even more, until his head felt dizzy and heavy, then he would breath three times. It was the best idea he had, it was the only idea he had. 

Genma's walls felt warm around him, warmer than they ever had been. The older man stopped breathing every now and then, his sunken eyes closing slowly before he managed one more raggedy breath. And another, one more… nothing for a few more seconds before he started breathing again. Once, twice, thrice, nothing. Kakashi's heart fluttered wildly in his chest. Any minute now, Genma would be no more. There was nothing left for him in this world once Genma was no longer with him. Nothing he wanted, no one he cared for. Would he continue living? It seemed unlikely. How could he breathe while Genma could not? The Darkness that had always crept up slowly was cautious no more and the weight of it almost made Kakashi fall. Deeper than the bed, he would fall, into a pit of nothingness. Nothingness was good, there were no feelings there, no longing for those who had left him behind. 

But not yet! Not yet. Genma still lived. As long as Genma lived, so would he. He fought the Darkness one last time, knowing that the next time he would feel this heaviness, it would be the last time. The next time the Darkness came back would be when Genma's breathing had ceased to pick up – Kakashi wouldn't have a reason to fight it anymore then. 

The pauses between Genma's breaths became ever longer, the aching in Kakashi's heart became ever deeper. Genma's eyes didn't open anymore, his body had stopped trembling, though convulsed violently every now and then. Through the tears in his eyes he could not see his lover's face, but he knew it was pale, that the blush that had resided high on Genma's cheeks was gone now, his color slowly turning ashen. Once more, Genma sucked in air, once more Kakashi's heart beat painfully hard as if to remind him that as long as Genma lived, he would too. But the Darkness was unrelenting, using every chance to impose on the man's mind. Genma was dying, this was his last breath, potentially. The chest he all but lay on barely moved, it was over already, Genma's consciousness could never be awake with such little blood being pumped around the still body. He was getting colder by the second, yet he was still breathing. 

A hot tear fell to the parchment skin below him, but Genma did not move. Slowly, ever so slowly, Kakashi started pulling back – if Genma was no more, then there was no need for him to force himself any longer, his member already wilted minutes ago, the only thing driving him forth the other man's request to feel him inside. He closed his eyes, letting the Darkness in. 

"_Kakashi!_" the voice was strange, yet familiar. Hollow as if being transported through a tunnel of sorts. The Darkness? It had never spoken to him before, not directly, though Kakashi remembered hearing voices in the distance many a time. It had made him feel like he was going mad, so he never spoke a word about it. He would not speak now, either. Not even to the Darkness. Looking away, he moved to extract himself once more. 

"_Kakashi! Speak to me, damnit! Speak up!"  
_

But why? Why would the Darkness want him to speak? Why would it sound so desperate to hear his voice? 

"_Kakashi! Are you alone?!"  
_

'I am now. You know that. Must you take these precious seconds from me already? Couldn't you wait?!' but his distressed mind couldn't utter the words aloud, couldn't stand to acknowledge the invading presence in his mind just yet. 

"_What happened? Why are you alone?"_

Annoyed, he frowned, "He died, weren't you watching? Weren't you waiting for it?" 

"I'm not dead yet, Love," the voice was weak, but steady, "And who are you talking to? Iruka…? He shouldn't be here… he shouldn't… see this… It makes him…" a long pause ensued as the brunette tried to find the word before eventually settling on, "That thing… you know, when he's… when he's not com… comfortable…" 

"Uncomfortable?" confused, he opened his eyes, quirked one eyebrow. 

"_Uncomfortable? Is that why you're alone? What's going on, Kakashi? Talk to me!"  
_

The voice sounded near panic, as if there was an actual human attached. But that couldn't be. The Darkness wasn't human, if anything, it was… what was it? He'd never thought about it before, the voices he sometimes heard were always immediately pushed aside. Kakashi cocked his head, maybe talking to this Darkness would yield some answers, 'Iruka. Iruka gets uncomfortable,' there, would that work? The Darkness had replied to his thoughts before as well, hadn't it? And there was no reason to worry Genma by letting him know he was in fact, talking to the Darkness now. Genma didn't have to know that his lover had lost his mind right before he himself left this life. 

The voice almost seemed relieved, "_He seems fine to me. Not quite ready to talk yet, though…" _then, suddenly serious, _"Are you with Genma, perchance? Can I talk to him?" _

'No, you can't talk to him!' without thinking, he pushed against the presence in his mind, 'Leave him alone! It's me you want, isn't it?' 

"_Could you maybe not do that?" _the voice of the Darkness inside Kakashi sounded strained, "_It hurts, you know… In any case, I want both of you. But somehow no one here's been able to reach Genma all this time. Can you talk to him for us?"  
_

"No…" of course he couldn't let the Darkness talk to the man he loved, Genma was already dying, no need to torture him anymore. 

"Love… you're making no sense…" feeling a little stronger, Genma tried to rest on his elbows so he could look his lover in the eyes, but he couldn't find the strength, letting himself drop back with a painful thud, "Are you talking to someone? I can't hear them… It's my ears, isn't it? My hearing is going away too…" 

Unable to reply, Kakashi frowned. Whatever he said, the Darkness would hear it. The Darkness wanted Genma, but Kakashi would be damned if he ever let it touch him. On the other side, Genma deserved an answer at least. There had to be a way to hold both conversations at the same time without letting either Genma or the Darkness in on each other's presence. Ignoring the Darkness seemed futile, the voice kept coming back to him anyway. Besides, after Genma… after the man died, Kakashi suspected he could use the company then. He didn't want to push the Darkness away from him anymore, feeling as if the weight of loneliness was already upon him. 

"Love…?" 

Kakashi swallowed, leaning over to kiss the man gently on the lips, knowing no other way to convey his feelings without speaking. Genma kissed him back lovingly, though with barely the strength to move his lips. Kakashi swallowed hard, whispering, "Trust me." 

Genma nodded, feeling confused but calmer now that Kakashi was back to doing what he did best; protecting him from everything that could possibly hurt him. Even if it was Kakashi himself. 

"_I do trust you Kakashi, but we're running out of time. I need you to focus. Tell me where you are, please."  
_

The Darkness didn't know? That was odd to say the least, but Kakashi tried to ignore it, 'I'm… in my apartment. Where are you?' 

The voice sounded a little bemused, "_Let's just say that I'm in your apartment as well. Let's say I'm… standing next to your bed, is that alright?"  
_

'No!' again he pushed, not as hard as the last time, fearing he really would push the voice away and be left all alone after Genma drew his last breath, but hard enough to feel the presence recoil. 

"_I asked you to stop doing that!"  
_

'Then move away from there!' 

"_I can't, you idiot! Will you please just listen to me? I can already feel your presence fading, we don't have time to argue right now!"  
_

Fading? He was fading? Curious, he looked at his hands, they seemed as clear as ever, darker than Genma's skin was now. He didn't like the contrast, so he quickly looked down and away. He was still inside him. Barely, but still. Suddenly, that small touch felt like a thread of life, connecting him to Genma, keeping the older man with him. Without a second thought, Kakashi pushed further in. 

That had felt good. Better than anything he could remember feeling since he'd opened his eyes to find Kakashi above him, checking to see whether he had died yet. Genma moaned quietly, his question no more than a whisper, "Do that again, Love. Please, it felt so good…" 

Kakashi nodded, everything Genma asked of him, he would do. And this… this could reinforce the thread between them, maybe. It did feel good. Pulling out just barely, he pushed in again. Genma moaned, Kakashi moaned, the voice spoke. 

"_What was that? I couldn't hear you. Never mind, it doesn't matter. You're closer now, whatever you did, it worked. Keep doing that, Kakashi."  
_

Closer? Closer to the Darkness? That couldn't be a good thing, that couldn't possibly be a good thing. But it brought him closer to Genma as well, the man seemed to have regained just a hint of color, seemed to be breathing just a little better. He would do it for Genma then. 

"_Right, now that you're back with me, tell me something."  
_

'Tell you what, exactly?' he panted slightly, feeling Genma stir under him, hearing the older man's soft moans as he tried to keep his own in. The Darkness could hear him but not see him. It would take too much effort to think about how that could be, so he didn't. 

"_Your name. Tell me your name."  
_

'You know my name. You've used it god knows how many times now.' 

"_Is Kakashi your only name then?"  
_

'No…' he tried hard to remember. There had been other names. One that Genma used as well, others that he hadn't heard in a long time. What was the name Genma used? He'd used it to introduce him to the girl, the girl that had been nothing but trouble ever since he met her, yet he still cared for her in ways that he could not describe, 'Hatake. Kakashi Hatake.' 

"_Good, we're making progress… What else to they call you, Kakashi Hatake?"  
_

Burying his face into the crook of Genma's neck he inhaled the scent of his lover, 'Scarecrow. Kakashi means scarecrow. The kids used to call me that way back then…' When had that been? He didn't know, couldn't remember. But it didn't seem to matter to the voice that may or may not be the Darkness speaking to him. 

"_Must've been rough, I never knew…" _a small sigh, a short pause, the presence in his mind wavered for a moment, as if that presence was momentarily required elsewhere, _"How would you identify yourself?"  
_

'That's a strange question to be asking, weird person inside my head. How would _you _identify yourself?' 

"_Currently? I'd say I might be suffering from the delusion that Kakashi Hatake can be serious, but other than that…" _a small sigh resounded through Kakashi's head, _"I guess you could say I'm part of the extraction team."  
_

He nuzzled the older man's neck for a moment longer, placing a soft kiss on warm skin as he tried to formulate a response to that strange statement, 'First of all, I'm always serious…' 

"_Right… whatever you say."  
_

Kakashi frowned into his lover's neck, 'I wasn't done yet. Second of all, extract whom from what exactly?' 

"_Excuse me?" _A small silence, _"Did you speak to either Iruka or Sakura lately, perchance? I'd ask them myself, but they're a little out of it at the moment…" _The tone had gotten contemplating, as if the voice itself wasn't sure it wanted to be offering up this information. 

'So now you're in Iruka's apartment too, huh? What are you, some kind of pervert?' 

"_I have been called that… But that's beside the point, did you talk to them or not?"  
_

'Sakura can go kill herself for all I care and Iruka is completely insane so no, I haven't really talked to either of them lately. Why would you even ask that if you're right there with them? Can't you tell how useless it would be to start a conversation with either of them?' 

"_That's… some pretty strong sentiment you've got there… One day I hope you'll tell me why you feel that way –"  
_

'She wouldn't save him. She could but she wouldn't.' 

"_Save whom?"  
_

Looking at his lover's face, Kakashi paused. Genma looked to be doing better, worse than when he met him, but better than he had in months. The voice didn't seem to know about Genma's illness either, didn't seem to know how Genma had helped him fight the invading presence. 

"_Kakashi…" _another sigh, _"Look, right now it doesn't matter, okay? Just hear me out for a bit."  
_

His hips rocked in a steady pace, he could feel his climax building up slowly, could feel Genma react as well, 'Why?' 

"_Just humor me, alright? I'll be out of your hair after this. Just… work with me for a bit."  
_

Kakashi bowed his head, once his body spilled his essence into the other man it would all be over. Genma would die and the strange voice would disappear. But the voice also distracted him, made his body climb to its peak slower. It made it possible to look at Genma's soft smile a little longer… 'Alright, have it your way.' 

"_Look around for a moment, can you tell me what you see?"  
_

He didn't need to look around, he already knew, 'My apartment, run-down as it is. What kind of sick pleasure do you get from reminding me?' 

"_Trust me, nothing about this is pleasurable for me. And if you could quit being so hostile all the time, maybe we could actually get something done. What does your apartment look like?"  
_

'Like I said, run-down. Old. Looks like it's gonna collapse any minute, honestly.' 

"_That's not good…" _it sounded as if the voice wasn't talking to him, so Kakashi didn't respond. For a few moments, the voice was quiet and the man drank in this time in which he could devote himself wholly to his lover. 

"_I'm going to ask you one more time Kakashi, is Genma there with you?"  
_

'What if he is?' 

"_Will you let me speak to him? It can only go through you –"  
_

Angry, he hissed, 'Leave him out of this!' 

"_Kakashi, I'm trying to save you! Both of you!"  
_

'You can't save him! He's dying! Just leave us alone…' 

**LV**

"He won't listen to me… he won't work with me…" distressed, he looked over at the bed beside the copy nin, "Lady Tsunade, how much longer does Genma have?" 

She sighed, wiping her face with her hand, "He keeps swaying back and forth. I keep thinking I've lost him, only for the guy to start breathing again. Whatever you're doing Ibiki, it's working. Somewhat, at least." 

"I can't convince him to let me speak with Genma though. The two are together, I know that much, but…" 

Behind his back, Iruka turned his gaze on the pink-haired girl laying on the other side of him. She looked back, her eyes big and round. He nodded, there was no way Kakashi was going to let them talk to Genma right now. The man was too protective. And besides, Iruka had a pretty good idea of what was going on inside the run-down apartment across from the one that he had just vacated for good. 

**LVI**

"_I can save him, you know…"  
_

'What? And make him as crazy as I am? Talking to voices in his head like it's no big deal? I think he'd prefer it this way, but thanks for nothing.' 

"_You could ask him…?"  
_

'I'm not asking him that! He'll think I've gone off the deep end, I don't want him to worry about me like that. Not now of all times…' 

"_It'd be far less worrisome if he didn't die… that's what I think at least."  
_

'Well yeah… stop being so mean and just tell me what you want from me.' 

"_Very well… I want you to listen to a story I'm going to tell you. And if anything sounds familiar, I want you to tell me. Can you do that much?"  
_

Kakashi shook his head. This voice had to be even crazier than he was, thinking he'd want to hear some stupid story while the love of his life lay dying under him. Was he dying though? Genma's color had returned, though his eyes were still milky and unseeing. There seemed to be little of his personality left, but that was of later concern. 'You're persistent enough to start babbling anyway, so go ahead, I guess.' 

"_Such cooperation… Just listen, okay? Tell me what you recognize. There is a village, hidden away between the leaves. On one side, there are mountains. In the mountains –"  
_

'Faces. I know, I've seen it,' he smiled longingly, feeling homesick for a place he had all but forgotten, 'Been a long time though…' 

"_The place still exists, Kakashi. It would welcome you back."  
_

'The people hated me. Hated my entire family. It's better this way.' 

"_There are people here that miss you, though…"  
_

'Name me even one,' he grimaced, why would this voice open up these old wounds? Apparently it thought there wasn't enough pain in his life… 

"_Me, for starters."  
_

'Yeah about that, who the hell are you anyway? And how are you in my mind?' 

"_It's called genjutsu, Kakashi. You're actually quite proficient at it, though for the moment you seem to have forgotten. As for who I am… I bear the same name as another you know. One that you would rather see dead. I know this, since you've tried to poison one close to him not long ago…"  
_

'You mean Yamanaka?' Kakashi involuntarily shuddered, getting a questioning look from Genma in return, 'What do you know of him? You know what, never mind. It's not that I particularly dislike the guy anyway. But he's the only way out of this hell-hole, so if he has to go, then he'll just have to go.' 

"_And if I could provide another exit?"  
_

'Just continue with your little story and be done with it. I have more important matters to attend to.' 

"_As you wish… In that village I spoke of, there were four shinobi amongst many. But these four had been chosen for a devious scheme. One of them had pink hair, one of them silver, two were brunettes."  
_

'What are you telling me now? A fairytale?' 

"_I wish it were that simple. In this case though, the happy ending seems to be solely in the hands of the man with the silver hair. The man who has one grey eye and one red. Do you know of whom I speak?"  
_

'I'm starting to have a feeling…' Kakashi's inner voice sounded wry, his eyes both locked into Genma's as he slowly moved, trying to keep his body from giving in to the overwhelming sensations just a little longer. 

"_Isn't that lovely… who am I speaking of, Kakashi Hatake?"  
_

'If I were a guessing man, I'd say you're talking about me.' 

"_That depends, do you even know who you are to that village hidden away in the leaves?"  
_

'A monster.' 

"_What names do you bear there?"  
_

Kakashi sighed softly, blinking his uneven eyes, "I am Kakashi of the Sharingan. The man who copied a thousand jutsu. A jounin from Konohagakure, jounin-sensei to team seven," for a moment he hesitated, something about that title hurt him, shook him to his very core, but Kakashi persisted, finding one more title in the deepest recesses of his mind, a title to cover up the previous one, if that were possible, "And apparently the eternal rival of Maito Gai." 

Confused, Genma frowned up at his lover, "What the hell are you talking about?" 

A little unsure, he looked down, feeling the presence in his mind change slightly, "Genma…" Kakashi sighed, "I'm talking about getting out of here. I'm talking about how somehow the two of us – and Iruka and Sakura too, apparently – got sucked into a place that we don't belong. I'm talking about Konohagakure, a place where we do belong. As for who I'm talking _to_," his eye crinkled in the way that Genma hadn't seen in so long, longer than he cared to remember, "There's this guy called Ibiki in my head that's been annoying the living hell out of me for a while now. Think he's behind me getting all grumpy on you from time to time, but he means well." 

"I-Ibiki? Morino?!" Violently he pushed the other away, but found that Kakashi wasn't moving, his strength hadn't returned as much as he thought it had, apparently, "He's the goddamned _enemy_, Kakashi! What the hell are you even doing? And…" suddenly, he blushed, mumbling, "Get off of me, will you? I think… I think this isn't quite what's supposed to be happening or something…" 

Those words hurt him, they hurt him more than anything else Genma could've possibly said. Thinking of team seven had hurt him less. But he let himself slip out, remembering that it had indeed been him chasing Genma, even before they had suddenly found themselves in this place. This place where Genma had loved him. This place that had been theirs. Kakashi sighed, he remembered now. Genma had never loved him back. All the years of pining after the unobtainable tokubetsu finally caught up to him and Kakashi silently wept.

**LVII**

He blinked, reaching for his head, "Sakura's gotten good…" Shaking his head a little, he tried to ban out any remaining thoughts of his old teammate, instead taking in his surroundings. 

The cave reeked of human habitation – the kind of human that didn't clean up after themselves. Trying to breathe as superficially as he could, he studied the inside of the cave further. There was a man sitting by the fire, he seemed exhausted – barely conscious. This man was the reason he was here, he remembered now. Orochimaru had sent him back to the village to do a reconnaissance when suddenly… Sasuke growled, this man had been sapping the life right out of Sakura. Out of Kakashi and Iruka. And some other guy he didn't really care two shits about. Still… 

"You mad at me, boy?" he chuckled lifelessly, "I'm not responsible for anything that happened to you in there, y'all thought all that up yourselves. And I never invited you to the party anyway, you just barged in here and started attacking me," a bony finger pointed at a dark bruise on the man's otherwise pale cheek, "then you suddenly went down like a rock," another cold chuckle emerged from the emaciated body, "So now you're out for even more revenge, eh? Serves me right, I'd say. I did invade your precious village, suckle on precious chakra from precious comrades, no? So why don't you have your revenge, boy? Kill me now, I can't fight back anyway, now can I? Y'all leaving my little fairytale house all of a sudden has left me weak and broken, just kill me now boy. You can be the one that got rid of that nasty Toorima once and for all. Do it quickly, before your comrades show up!" 

Frowning, Sasuke cocked his head. They were indeed coming, they weren't far off. But there was still time, he could kill this guy and wash away every trace of his own presence before the Konohagakure shinobi arrived. His eyes turned back on the sorry excuse for a human being that was sitting by the fire, "I think I'll let Ibiki have you. After what you did, I'm sure he would just love to talk to you."


	5. Chapter 5

**LVIII - EPILOGUE****  
**

"So basically…" Genma rubbed his aching head, "The whole thing was a self-fulfilling prophecy genjutsu?" he actively avoided looking at any of the others, keeping his eyes trained on the Hokage instead. Ibiki had excused himself shortly after he'd opened his eyes, before he'd even been able to comprehend his new surroundings and the incessant beeping that he now realized was coming from the machines keeping each of them alive. The three others were still weak, he was weaker still; his fingers trembling whenever his focus on keeping them still waned, his eyesight blurry. Lady Tsunade had done her best to explain their situation with the limited knowledge she had – after shooing everyone else out of the room – at least. Ino had been most unwilling to go, reluctantly letting go of Sakura's hand after the latter had assured her that they would 'catch up soon'. Those words worried the brunette, as he had no idea how much Sakura would divulge whilst 'catching up'. Would she talk about the relation that he and Kakashi had shared inside the genjutsu? It would be unbearable if anyone knew, though it was impossible to believe such juicy gossip would not make the rounds in days, hours even. 

In any case, for the moment all they had to deal with was the Hokage, and the master healer seemed less interested in the lives they had just escaped than she was their current physical condition. It made sense, at the very least he himself was on the brink of dying. He actually _had_ died, several times if he could believe the blonde's words. Genma shuddered, he couldn't remember much of anything in those last, fleeting moments, but thinking about it made him feel supremely uncomfortable nonetheless. 

"But why us though?" the girl's clear voice cut through the silence, she was the only one sitting up – the only one _capable_ of sitting up, resting against a pile of pillows her blonde friend had apparently fetched for her. 

"We're not entirely sure. It seems a net of sorts was cast over the village, trapping those that were low on chakra at the time, other factors may have potentially contributed seeing as there were three teams who had just returned when the genjutsu hit," Tsunade bit down on the nail of her thumb, "Kakashi's team was one of them. The other members were tired but not nearly as exhausted as he was – he was the only one injured and told to go rest up," her eyes sought out the copy nin, a mildly annoyed look on her face, "The other teams were both tired, with at least one other person being completely drained of chakra." 

"I vaguely remember coming out of the hospital…" Sakura hesitated, "It feels like forever ago, but… I do remember being really tired and… maybe sort of wishing I… That I could be a kid again? I mean…" looking down at her hands, she didn't continue – _couldn't_ continue, by the looks of it. 

Genma didn't really care, he just wished she would shut up and let Tsunade finish whatever it was she had to say so she would leave. Staring up at the ceiling, he willed his body to stop shaking, willed his head to stop hurting so much that he couldn't even think straight. Memories flooded him, both from out here and from in there. Memories he'd rather forget… 

"Do you know who did it? Who cast the jutsu?" Kakashi's tone was flat, like he hadn't the energy to sustain any sort of intonation. The sound of it made Genma feel sad, but he pushed the feeling away almost violently, not wanting to feel _anything_ regarding the man who had, by all means, taken something precious that wasn't his to take. Even if Genma had offered it up, he couldn't forgive himself for what had happened just yet, and so he blamed the other man for everything, wishing the copy nin would just vanish from his life. 

"We don't know his name. By the time we got to the cave he'd been hiding in, he was near death. There was nothing to be gained from trying to question him, the guy couldn't reply anyway," wearing a deep frown, she couldn't bear to face any of them, least of all her own student, "He died within minutes of being discovered. Apparently he had been feeding off of your chakra, taking it for himself in order to prolong his own life. The symbols he scratched into the rock told us as much. He must've been doing it for a long time, though…" sighing, she willed herself to look up and face her four patients, "His body started decaying the moment he passed. There's nothing but dust left now," she didn't mention how Raidou had carefully scooped up the dust, how it was sitting in a jar on her desk even now. She didn't mention the fact that there were dozens of shinobi combing out the library, trying to find a way to learn anything – anything at all – from the remains of the unknown shinobi who had attacked her village. She also didn't mention how horrible it made her feel that this had happened on her watch, failed to apologize for not being able to help them sooner – before any of it even happened, preferably. She also, very decidedly, didn't tell them of the _other_ presence that had been found in the cave that had been expertly masked up until the moment Inoichi – the last of the trapped shinobi – had opened his eyes. The chakra that lingered only vaguely but was immediately identified as belonging to Sasuke Uchiha. They didn't need to know, there was no comfort to be found in knowing that the missing nin had been so close, yet so far away. Search teams had been sent out, but Tsunade knew in her heart that it was useless. Sasuke was long gone, he hadn't left a single trace of his existence anywhere outside that cave, "You'll be happy to hear Inoichi made it out alright. Kurenai extracted him shortly after Ibiki and the team pulled out Genma and Kakashi." 

Genma nodded slightly, he was indeed happy to hear it, realizing that it had been him who had dragged the man into the genjutsu in the first place. It had been Genma who became aware of his friend's attempts to contact him, who gave the jounin a place inside their little messed up world in order to make sense out of the situation. 

"So what happens now?" Kakashi's tone was still the same, if not colder than it had been before. 

"You rest. Get your strength back. I'll check in with you regularly, if there's anything you need you can push the button beside your bed – a nurse will come immediately. You will all be debriefed later, but for now all we can do it wait for you to recover. I will not risk losing any of you now of all times." 

After the Hokage had left the room, Genma sighed softly. His eyes darting over to the copy nin before staring up at the ceiling. A light blush tinted his cheeks as he spoke – ever so softly, "Kakashi, I want to make one thing absolutely clear…" 

"What is it?" looking at the bed beside him with only mild interest on his face, the silver-haired man waited patiently. As the older man grew redder still, an amused little smile spread over his face, "Genma?" 

"Look," getting up to sit on the side of his bed, Genma groaned quietly, embarrassedly looking away when Kakashi moved to get up in order to help him, "I'm… I'm not gay, okay? I'm not into guys." 

Sitting across from the brunette, on the edge of his own bed, Kakashi's eye crinkled in a genuine smile, "That's too bad… you're pretty hot, Genma. Especially when you're lying there with your legs all –" 

"I take it you are, then?" he quickly interrupted the other man, not wanting to let the others hear exactly what the two of them had been up to while under the influence of the genjutsu. 

Kakashi shrugged, "Meh, everyone's beautiful." 

From the other side of the room, a quiet, hesitant voice spoke up, "Eh… sensei? Does that mean…" 

He turned then, looking at the girl that was blushing bright, "Sakura… you're my student. I've trained you since you were eleven years old. There's no way I could ever be interested in you like that." 

The man in the bed in between them suddenly rustled, Iruka's head finally peeking out from under the covers, "Yeah… eh… about that…" 

"Oh sensei…" sighing dejectedly, Sakura laid back down. As she stared up at the ceiling, she tightly held on to the covers, her knuckles slowly turning white. 

"Guys…" Genma swallowed thickly, "Let's make a deal here. Let's agree to never divulge the details of what happened in there to anyone. Ever." 

"Agreed," Iruka spoke through gritted teeth, searching for a way to live with himself after what he'd done, most likely. 

"Please," Sakura's voice was thick with unshed tears, making the sensei next to her tense up even more. 

Genma took a deep breath, his gaze settling on the silver-haired copy nin, "Kakashi? What say you?" 

"Hmm? No. Or at least, not just like that. Tsunade's going to _ask_, you know," cocking his head slightly, he chuckled, "We can't very well just tell her 'no'. So we're going to have to come up with a story to tell her. Preferably one with the least amount of lies. I'd be willing to go along with that." 

Nodding solemnly, Genma considered their options, "You're right. We'll need to tell her something. We can just leave out the part about our, eh…" 

"Relationships?" Kakashi chuckled. Somehow it made Genma feel happy too. Like it did when they were still in the genjutsu. Like it did when he had loved this man, "I'm sorry Genma, but I can't go along with that. Or rather, I won't." 

In the silence that fell after the words were spoken, it seemed like all hope was lost. Burying his face underneath the covers once more, Iruka tried to pretend that this didn't just happen. Going back into the genjutsu seemed a less horrifying fate to him, probably. 

Sakura sobbed quietly into her hands, turning away so none of the men would notice. 

Genma just stared, "Kakashi… it's our reputation on the line here…" 

"No… it's Iruka's reputation on the line. You and I, we wouldn't get in any trouble over this. And the only reason they could even reach me was because we were –" 

"I know! I know. But please Kakashi, don't do this!" 

"Do what? Be honest to my Hokage like a good shinobi should?" 

Dropping his face in his hands, Genma's tone was disbelieving, "You'll ruin me…" 

"Why? Because people will know you've been intimate with another man while being trapped in mind-twisting genjutsu? Is it really that easy to ruin you?" 

"Kakashi…" looking away, he sighed, "Maybe." 

Pulling up his legs, Kakashi wrapped his arms around his knees, his tone serious, "Did you care about me in there?" 

"Yes. I loved you." 

"I loved you too, Genma," cocking his head, Kakashi smiled warmly, "Do you care about me now?" 

"I'm not really in love with you, if that's what you mean." 

"Was that what I asked?" Kakashi smiled briefly before turning serious once more, "I asked if you still care about me even though we're no longer under the influence of whatever it was that made you feel like we were in love in there." 

"I… guess…" 

The silver-haired man fell quiet for a long time. Staring blindly at the white wall behind the man that he had spent so many intimate moments with. On the other side of the room, Sakura had fallen asleep, exhausted from both malnutrition and the emotions that had been swirling through her young body ever since waking up and realizing that the world that she had thought she belonged to did not exist. That even the love she had felt for each of these three men had been wickedly distorted, perverted even. The nothingness of deep slumber allowed her to forget, if only for a little while. Her breathing had slowly evened out into a slow and steady pace. Beside her, in the bed in between her and the copy nin lay a certain chuunin, his thumping heart had also settled, his breathing had evened out. And still Kakashi stared blindly at the wall. 

Genma had at first studied the man before him but as the breathing of the other two settled, his too started to even out. He was exhausted, his body feeling heavy and out of place. Slowly, ever so slowly he allowed his body to sink backwards, leaning against the cold wall for support as he studied the man he had thought he loved through his eyelashes. His eyelids were getting heavier with each passing second and still the man before him did not move, did not speak. 

The clock on the wall sliced long minutes into perfectly even portions of one second each. Kakashi sat frozen, listening to his comrades' breathing, his own heart, the clock on the wall. His thoughts were no lighter than they had been in the Darkness of the genjutsu. Closing his eye for just a moment, he forced the muscles that had been inactive for so long to move, to support his weight as the silver-haired copy nin quietly rose from his place on the bed. Without pause, he made his way to the window that extended partway past Genma's bed. Reaching out his hand to the cold glass, Kakashi swallowed, his voice low, "I knew. I knew all along, all this time. I knew that what we were experiencing wasn't – _couldn't_ be true. I knew that there was something else out there, that this wasn't the way we were supposed to live. I… couldn't quite remember what that other life had been like exactly, but I did remembered one thing vividly," his eye shifted to look at the brunette on the bed. Genma had opened his eyes, looking at the copy nin with confusion on his face, but he didn't interrupt. Something about the younger man felt so desolate, so alone. Genma realized that this was something that Kakashi had to tell him in his own pace. 

"I knew that… in that other world, in this world… I didn't have you near me. I knew that in this world, I stood no chance of being with you. I accepted everything in there so I could be with you, Genma. And you don't even seem to be sure if you care about me at all." 

He sighed, looking away, "First of all, let me get one thing clear," Genma moved to get the glass of water from his nightstand but changed his mind when the muscles in his body protested with screaming pain, "You _knew_ what was going on –" 

"I knew things didn't add up. Didn't you? Even Iruka managed to figure it out eventually." 

Genma balled his fists, growling, "That's beside the point, Kakashi! The point being that you _knew _and you never said a word!" out of breath, Genma slowly allowed himself to slide to the side until his head fell to the cold pillow, his voice a mere whisper as he continued, as angry as he had been before but without the energy to fully sustain it, "Was that what all your depressions were about? You were worried that we would get to leave that hell-hole of a place? You did everything you could to drag me further into it, didn't you? You even had me believing that I _wanted_ to get fucked in my ass, that I _liked_ feeling you –" unable to continue, he turned away from the others to face the wall, whispering, "I trusted you, Kakashi. I always trusted you…" 

He sat down on the bed, feeling a little lightheaded from moving this much after weeks of lying in a bed as he gently lay a hand on the other man's shoulder, "I never forced you into bottoming, Genma. I never even proposed you would – it wouldn't have been fair. It was you who came up with it, you who wouldn't have it any other way." 

"Shut up. Go away, Kakashi." 

Sighing, he shook his head a little, "I didn't know what was going on either, Genma. I never deceived you. All I knew was that I was finally with you and –" 

"Stop touching me." 

Hurt, he recoiled. After moving back to his own bed, Kakashi silently wiped at his eye, his voice still steady, "I won't lie just to help you pretend that none of it ever happened, Genma. If it were Iruka asking me this, the situation might be different, but –" 

"Just stop talking already…" Genma sighed as he rolled to his back, "Kakashi…" swallowing thickly, he shot a glance over at the other man, "I know you never forced me. I remember every little detail about every single time. I remember how it felt when you entered me, how amazing it felt to know that I was the one taking care of you. I remember every single minute detail –" sighing once more, he pushed himself up to sit, "But I don't want to let anyone else in on it. It's… private. And I may or may not wish that some – that most – that _part_ of it hadn't happened. So…" he swallowed, looking at the man in the bed beside him with tired, beaten eyes, "What will it take to buy your silence?" 

A quiet sigh sounded through the room. Throwing the blanket back, Iruka stared up at the ceiling, "Isn't obvious? He wants to take you on a date, Genma."


End file.
